


The Cold of Night

by ProxyOne



Category: D'espairsRay, Dir en grey
Genre: Fluff, Graphic Violence, Homophobic Slurs, I LOVE YOU TOTCHI I'M SO SORRY, M/M, Prostitute Hizumi, Prostitute Shinya, Prostitute Tsukasa, Sexual Abuse, Toshiya is actually a bit of a dick in this, chef Kyo, gangster Kaoru, jealous Toshiya, old fic, rich boy Die, unhinged Zero
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-06-24 01:22:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15619335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProxyOne/pseuds/ProxyOne
Summary: Shinya has spent a lot of his life as a prostitute with his friends Hizumi and Tsukasa.  Unknown to him, someone has been searching for him for a very long time...*please read the tags/warning*





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU READ THE TAGS AND WARNINGS. 
> 
> I first started writing this fic at the beginning of 2007, and last updated it halfway through 2008. Oops. But it is finally being finished, even though literally no one is going to be reading it. Anyway, there are things that I debated changing, but decided in the end to keep more or less the same, so there are a few things that I probably wouldn't write like that these days (it's been over eleven years since then, so I've changed quite a lot in that time). It didn't seem right to do more than fix up the more horrendous spelling/grammar mistakes though, and fix up a few plot holes. So this fic is what it is, and I really do love it, flaws and all. But again - PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS AND TAGS. They are there for a reason.

He walked the night streets, not really knowing where he was going or what he was doing. He'd been doing this for almost as long as he can remember, and sometimes it frightened him that he'd never really known a normal life. Then again, what _was_ a “normal life”? Was sitting at the table, fire roaring, surrounded by loving family “normal”? Somehow he didn't think so. He thought for most it was the ideal, the dream, something they all strove for, but it was far from _normal._ What normal really was, was living life however you could, doing whatever it took to try and stay alive. Just as he was doing now.  
  
Part of him felt vaguely that he should be ashamed of what he did, that this wasn't the way he should be living his life. But what other choice did he have? He thought, a little bitterly but mostly with calm acceptance, that if his father hadn't died, if they hadn't been in such poverty, if his mother hadn't been so _weak_ _,_ that maybe things would have been different. He could be inside, in the warmth, enjoying a home cooked meal with family who loved him, instead of standing out here in the cold, selling his body to whoever was willing to pay. He sighed, refusing to fall into a pit of despair by wondering _“what_ _if?”._ That never got anyone anything.  
  
He rubbed his arms through his thin jacket, wondering whether it was time to call it a night. It was late – or early, depending on your point of view – and the snow was starting to fall more thickly. The chances of finding a customer out now were minuscule, and if he stayed out any longer he'd get sick. Not that that has _ever_ been a good enough excuse for his boss. He was tempted to do what the others boys did, and rob the next person he saw so he'd have enough money to take back. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. No matter how low he fell in his life, he still wanted to maintain some sort of decency. If people wanted to give him money, he'd gladly do whatever it was they wanted him to do, but he would never take it from them forcefully.  
  
Even if, so often, people didn't show him the same courtesy.  
  
He sighed again, stamping his feet. One of his heels was on the verge of snapping. That was going to be another expense taken out his meagre earnings for the night. He gave his arms one last rub before wrapping them tightly around himself and starting back towards home. He snorted softly, marvelling that he still called that place by that name.  
  
Home.  
  
He still had the faintest of memories of his life before this, but they seemed so far away, so detached from what his life really was that he wasn't sure they were real at all. Memories of a comfortable house, warm parents who gave him love, real clothing, real food...  
  
He shook his head. It was just a fantasy he'd created to help him through these cold nights. None of it was real. None of it really happened. There had never been anyone who really loved him. If his parents had, his father wouldn't have killed himself. His mother would never have sold him off like he was a spare piece of furniture she no longer had use for. Someone would have rescued him long ago. No. It was best to just accept reality the way it was, and continue living as best he could.  
  
With those thoughts running through his head, he made his way closer to home, partly wanting to reach quickly, wanting to get out of the cold before he froze to death, partly wanting to stay away as long as possible, and yet another part of him even now wishing that someone, anyone, even that figure known as Death would reach out to him and rescue him from this life. He staggered a little as he exited the side streets, stumbling out onto a wide, busy street. He watched the people walking hurriedly by, wrapped in their thick winter coats. Young couples laughed as they make their way to wherever it was they were going. He couldn't believe that even at this hour, even in this weather, this street was still full of people. Even though he'd seen it a thousand times, it still amazed him. He couldn't help but notice the way peoples' faces flickered with disgust when they saw him, before their eyes slid away, trying to pretend he wasn't there. His chest tightened, even after all these years. He still wasn't used to it. He didn't think he would _ever_ be used to it. He lowered his gaze, not wanting to see the thoughts running through peoples' minds when they saw him.  
  
_Whore._  
  
You disgust me.  
  
Filth. Don't come near me.  
  
He wrapped his arms tighter around himself, ducking his head down as he ran away from their stares, from their thoughts. He ran, heedless of the people he nearly knocked over in his haste to get away. It was only when the loose heel on his boot finally snapped off and he flew, face first, plunging into the melted sludge left from the snow on the street that he stopped. He couldn't bring himself to move even though he knew he would probably be hit by the next car to come along. He lay still, watching the car's headlights grow closer and closer and he _knew_ the driver probably couldn't see him lying there, _knew_ he should be scared because this will kill him, but he just felt ... relieved. He smiled and closed his eyes. He knew it would probably hurt, and a lot, but he'd suffered pain, had countless bruises, broken bones and worse before, so it didn't bother him the way it should. All he could think of was the release that would come. It wasn't that he _wanted_ to die - far from it. He just couldn't bring himself, in this cold and worry filled night, to care.  
  
He felt himself go flying, but there was no pain, and his eyes flew open in confusion. Surely he shouldn't be flying? His head spun around to be confronted with a face growing closer, pulling him to his chest as the car flew past, horn blaring. The man held him close for a second longer before pulling away and peering into his face.  
  
“Are you alright? What the fuck were you doing, just lying there? You could have been killed.”  
  
“Yes,” Shinya whispered, pulling himself away and standing. He watched as the man's gaze travels down his body, watched as the realisation dawned.  
  
“See? I'm just a whore. Who would miss me? Who would even notice if I was gone.”  
  
The man stood, grabbed his arm and pulled him forwards.  
  
“In which case, you're coming with me. I don't care what it costs.”  
  
He felt ice spread from his stomach and out. He looked up at the man now marching ahead of him, still hauling on his arm, his almost ridiculously bright red hair blowing around him, and wondered just what on earth he'd gotten himself into.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the worst chapter in terms of the sexual abuse warnings. Be warned.

Shinya remembered being pulled along the street, the one who had grabbed him from the road ahead of him, but that was as far as his memory went. He had woken up inside the house, surrounded by the anxious eyes of the other boys he worked with.  
  
“You better get up. If the boss sees you like this we'll all be in for it,” an unidentified voice whispered. Unidentified, but it didn't matter. Every single person there was thinking it, even the one currently lying on his back, still groggy. He summoned what energy he had and managed to sit up, his head swimming until he thought he was going to vomit.  
  
“Hey, are you alright? Can you stand by yourself?” another voice floated to him, but it barely registered.  
  
“Quick, help him up. We'll put him in his bed and just say he worked so hard that he had to sleep straight away.”  
  
“Do you think it'll work?”  
  
“He doesn't _smell_ like he's been drinking, so I hope so. Stupid fuck better not have been taking any weird drugs, either.”  
  
 _But I haven't been drinking, and I haven't been doing drugs,_ he thought, but he was still barely able to tell where he was, let alone form a sentence, coherent or otherwise.  
  
“Quick, chuck him in his bed. The boss'll be here soon.”  
  
Dark shapes fussed around him, pulling off his boots and clothes, carelessly throwing a blanket over him before dumping what he had been wearing on top to give extra warmth. He heard the others scurrying back to their own beds, sitting on top but not getting under the covers. Without warning the door slammed open, and heavy footsteps entered. He knew he should sit up, be at attention like the others, but no matter how he willed his body to move it just wouldn't. The footsteps thumped closer to him, stopping at the edge of his bed. There was a moment of silence, then a soft voice spoke. Soft, but so full of menace that he could feel his body trying to curl in on itself.  
  
“What have we here, then. Pretty little Shinya thinks he can just go to sleep before his work is done, does he?”  
  
Shinya, cowering in fear and disgust despite his paralysis, caught his breath as the stench of the other man washed over him.  
  
“No alcohol. There's a good boy. But not so good is sleeping on the job. Ha. Ha. Ha.”  
  
Shinya hated the way the boss would laugh like that. There was no humour in it at all. He just spoke the sounds, and when he did it never boded well for whoever it was directed at. He felt his blanket being shifted, and in his mind he screamed. His mind screamed, and his body could do nothing as the other man's hand worked its way down, lower and lower until it was worming its way under his boxers, the only item the other boys had left on. He knew they would all be looking away, pretending they couldn't see what was going on, because it was what they all always did, no matter who was having this done to them. It was the only way to survive in this place. His breath hitched as he felt the intrusion, the pain of the man's fingers inside him, twisting and turning like some unwelcome parasite. The man began panting, his hot breath hitting Shinya's face in short bursts. The bed began to shake as he put his free hand down his own pants even as he continued his abuse of Shinya. The screaming in Shinya's head grew louder as he was torn, but at least he knew that the man was nearing his end and it would all be over soon. Suddenly the fingers inside him froze, then tightened their grip in and around him, tears of pain and humiliation leaking from behind his closed eyes as the man came, grunting and sweating. The hated fingers withdrew, and the blanket was flung back over him almost as an afterthought.  
  
“Now, whose turn was it to collect the money for me tonight?”  
  
“Mine, Tatsuya-sama,” a quiet voice was heard, and Shinya allowed himself a small smile. Tsukasa would make sure Shinya was looked after. After all, they were more alike than they let on, Shinya and Tsukasa. Despite the trying circumstances here, they had even managed to be friends.  
  
There was some rustling as Tatsuya stood and made his way to Tsukasa, the young man handing over the night's takings along with the sheet that kept track of who had made what. He heard a long, low whistle.  
  
“Well. It seems Shinya _was_ working hard tonight, wasn't he? No wonder he's so exhausted, huh?” He gave a short bark of a laugh, and Shinya heard the others give half-hearted laughs in response.  
  
“Thank you, Tsukasa. Now. The lot of you, get to bed. It's gonna be a long day tomorrow.” The door slammed at almost the same time the light turned out, and Shinya heard the lock click, trapping them all in this room. His body finally gave in, and he felt nothing but grateful relief as sleep claimed him.

***

  
  
“Shin? Shinya! Wake up! You gotta get up, Shin!”  
  
Shinya groaned and tried to roll away from the incessant shaking, his body still aching from what had been done to it the night before.  
  
“Shinya? Please, you have to get up! I don't want you to be hurt again!” The voice was growing frantic now, and Shinya forced his eyes open.  
  
“Hizumi?” he mumbled, slightly surprised to see that particular face in front of him.  
  
“Quickly, Shinya. Tsukasa is downstairs stalling the Tatsuya, but I don't think he can hold him for very long. He asked me to make sure you get up. Come on, Shinya. Tsukasa worries about you. And I worry about you both. Please, get up before you get hurt. Before Tsukasa gets hurt because of you.”  
  
It was the note of longing, of barely controlled panic that had Shinya moving. If he himself was hurt, that was one thing. But Tsukasa – and by extension Hizumi – was something else. It was common knowledge among the boys that Hizumi was in love with Tsukasa. Obvious to everyone but Tsukasa himself, that was. It pained Hizumi to have Tsukasa working there, pained him every time something happened to the quiet blond. Shinya wished he could have someone care for him, the way Hizumi cared for Tsukasa. Slowly, painfully, he pulled himself out of bed, wincing at the injuries he had received at the hands of Tatsuya. They made him dread having to work tonight.  
  
 _Well, more than usual, anyway._  
  
Hurriedly he threw his clothes on. He grabbed his boots, preparing to throw them under the bed since they wouldn't be needed until night fell, when he noticed something.  
  
“Hizumi? Did Tsukasa fix my boots?”  
  
“What? Fix them? They're brand new. Why would they need fixing?”  
  
“Huh? What are you talking...” Shinya trailed off as he looked closer. Hizumi was right. They _looked_ like his old boots, but they weren't. They were a little dirty from walking through the snow and semi-frozen dirt, but they were clearly new. Startled, he looked down at the rest of his clothes, remembering that the very same fall that had been caused by the broken shoe should also have left his clothes filthy.  
  
“My clothes are new too...” he breathed in astonishment.  
  
“What?” Hizumi asked, looking at Shinya like he had gone mad.  
  
“My clothes. Look. They _look_ like my old ones, but they're new.”  
  
“Weird,” Hizumi said, but he didn't look particularly interested. He strained his neck, trying to keep an eye out for Tsukasa. “What the hell _did_ you get up to last night, huh Shinya? New clothes, new shoes, not to mention looking like you were drugged up or something. Must have had one hell of a time with your last customer.”  
  
“I – don't know. I don't remember anything after I fell over. Someone picked me up, and then ... I just don't remember.”  
  
Hizumi opened his mouth as though to question Shinya further when Tsukasa came scuttling through the door, head darting around to look over his shoulder.  
  
“He's on his way. You ready, Shinya?” Tsukasa looked over at Shinya, relief painting his face when he saw the other man up and out of bed. The rest of the boys jumped to their feet, none of them wanting to do anything to attract the attention of their boss. Hizumi and Tsukasa ran to stand next to their own beds, Hizumi barely making it before Tatsuya rounded the corner and entered the room. He stood for a moment, eyes surveying the room before coming to rest on Shinya.  
  
“Well, well. Decided that you can be awake after all, Shinya.”  
  
“Yes, sir.”  
  
“Is that all you've got to say for yourself? Do you need more reminding of who's in charge here?”  
  
Shinya cringed a little. The pain still coursed through him with every movement he made, and just the thought of attracting Tatsuya's special brand of “attention” made Shinya want to scream. He kept all this locked away though, his face carefully blank, not wanting anyone, but especially Tatsuya, to know just how affected he was.  
  
“Not that it matters. You're going out to work early today. As in now. Had a special request for you, though I can't see why anyone would want _you_. So hop to it. Get yourself presentable. God help you if you embarrass me today.”  
  
And with those last venomous words, Tatsuya spun on his heel and exited the room, in no doubt that everyone would take their places for the daily labour. The place didn't maintain its stunning facade on its own, nor was it due to Tatsuya actually paying people to do it.  
  
Whores and slaves. That's all they were.  
  
Shinya couldn't help but let a small smile escape though. It wasn't often they were wanted for a day, but when they were it was normally good. Better than good. It was _easy_. It was normally some rich old man who wanted someone around to look pretty and keep quiet. Sometimes there was some touching, but rarely anything more. It made Shinya happy, and especially to be requested specifically...  
  
“I hope you know I hate you right now.”  
  
Shinya smiled as Tsukasa came back over, followed as always by Hizumi. He noticed one or two of the others shooting him dirty looks, but he chose to ignore those ones.  
  
“Can you help me get ready?”  
  
“Yeah, we've got time.” Tsukasa answered with a grin, deliberately ignoring the rather pointed looks Hizumi was giving him. The three chattered away as they got Shinya ready, brushing his hair into place, applying his make up so perfectly it looked as though he wasn't wearing any at all. Shinya looked in curiosity at his new clothes again, wondering whether he should ask Tsukasa if he knew anything about them. He decided against it though – if Tsukasa knew anything, then Hizumi would have, and since Hizumi didn't...  
  
“There. Perfect. You're gonna wow whatever old man you get today, Shinya. He'll barely be able to move, you're so perfect. Which, of course, is thanks to Hizumi and myself.”  
  
“Yes, you're both wonderful. Wish me luck, okay?”  
  
The other two beamed as Shinya stood. Their good lucks were lost as Shinya turned and attempted to run down the stairs, the pain forcing him into a more sedate, dignified walk. Even that slow pace caused him to bite his lower lip though. He prayed to whoever might be listening that this customer would be like most other full day customers – happy to look, but not really capable of much more. He made his way to the waiting room and took a seat on the most comfortable chair he could find. He was eager to get out of the building, away from Tatsuya and his hands. The customer he couldn't care less about, any more than the customer cared about him. But he would be eternally grateful to whoever it was for getting him out of here today. The waiting room was pleasantly warm, and he lost track of time, sitting there. It must have been at least an hour, and he could feel himself growing drowsy. Whatever had happened to him yesterday still hadn't quite worn off, and he had to fight to keep his eyes open. He was starting to fear that the customer had changed his mind and he would have to stay here when the door was flung open, and a sour looking Tatsuya entered. Shinya sat up, looking anxiously around but seeing no one else.  
  
“It's your lucky day, _Shinya-san._ ” Tatsuya sneered his name, the sarcasm dripping from his voice at the honorific. “Or should I say lucky week. You won't be coming back here 'til this time next week. Get up and get your things. And you better have enough clothes to last. That bastard's not paying nearly enough for me to want to have to get you anything else.”  
  
Shinya's eyes widened in surprise, and he nodded mutely before darting back up the stairs to the now empty room. He flung what few things he had into the sack that served as a bag, then rushed as best he could back down to the waiting room. Tatsuya gave the sack a disbelieving stare, his eyes narrowing as he rushed to grab Shinya by the throat.  
  
“What the fuck is that?” he hissed. “I thought I told you not to embarrass me? I feed you, keep a roof over your head and _this_ is how you repay me?”  
  
“I've paid for Shinya, Kozumi-san. I'll thank you to keep your hands off him from now until I return him.”  
  
Tatsuya dropped Shinya, the smile returning to his face.  
  
“But of course. I was just going over a few rules of etiquette with young Shinya here.”  
  
“I'm sure you were,” was the dry reply.  
  
“Shinya? It's time to go with this gentleman. Shinya?”  
  
Shinya stood and stared dumbly, looking straight into the face that had rescued him from the car the night before.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Shinya sat in the back of the chauffeured car, too scared to move even an inch. His whole body was rigid, the shock of seeing the man from the night before rendering him unable to even speak. The man had given his name as Daisuke Andou. Shinya had never heard of him before, but he must have money, and a lot of it, to be able to afford to buy someone for an entire week. And it scared Shinya to death. Someone with that amount of money was essentially above the law – not that the law had ever held much sway in Shinya's line of work. But this man ... this man could probably do _whatever_ he wanted, and never care about consequences, because for someone like him there never were any. Shinya was sure he'd been drugged last night, knew that it had been this man who had either done it, or had allowed it to be done. Just as he knew that there would be nothing stopping him from doing it again.  
  
He risked a glance out of the corner of his eye at this Andou person. He seemed young, not a lot older than Shinya was. His hair was dyed an incredibly bright red. Shinya couldn't understand how anyone could draw attention to themselves so blatantly.  
  
 _Well, yeah, I dye my own hair, but at least it's a normal colour! No one has hair that bright..._  
  
“So. How old are you, Shinya?”  
  
Shinya was startled out of his thoughts by the man's sudden question. He spun slightly until he was facing him, though the redhead continued to gaze out the window.  
  
“I'm twenty-one, sir.”  
  
“And how long have you been doing this?”  
  
“Ever since I can remember, sir.”  
  
“So how many thousands of men do you think you've fucked in your life, Shinya? Or are you normally the one who _is_ fucked?”  
  
Shinya's body snapped back around so he was facing forwards again, the words ringing in his ears. He refused to open his mouth, refused to let this _man_ get to him. He could scarcely believe he had been grateful to him for first saving his life, then taking him out of that place for an entire week. He could feel him staring, could feel the smug sense of superiority that was radiating from the other man, and silently wished for the first time in his life to go back. At least back there he could rely on Tsukasa at night.

***

  
  
“Where do you think Shinya's gone?”  
  
Hizumi looked up at Tsukasa's voice, grinning slightly at the look of apprehension on the other's face.  
  
“I'm sure Shinya's fine, Tsukasa. I saw him leaving in a pretty flash car, so he's gonna be bringing in a lot of money. That should keep that bastard Tatsuya off his back for a good long while.”  
  
“But did you hear who he's left with?”  
  
“No, who?”  
  
“I don't know!” wailed Tsukasa. “That's the point! Usually Tatsuya is only too happy to brag about who the customer is, but this time he's keeping his mouth shut. It worries me, that it's such a big secret. What if something happens? What if Shinya needs helping? We have no way of finding out or keeping an eye on him!”  
  
Hizumi stood, holding Tsukasa's face between his hands and looking into his eyes.  
  
“Tsukasa, Shinya will be _fine_. You know him. He's perfectly capable of looking after himself.”  
  
Tsukasa shook himself free, batting Hizumi's hands away.  
  
“But you saw him when he left! He was better, but he still barely knew where he was! Someone did something to him last night. What's the bet that it was that same guy. He's going to do something to him again!”  
  
“Tsukasa! Nothing like that is going to happen! Even if Shinya _was_ drugged last night, there's no reason to think that it was the same person. And anyway, it's more likely that Shinya got hungry or thirsty and stole something he shouldn't have. That's all.”  
  
Tsukasa stood in front of Hizumi, his fists balled at his sides.  
  
“You know that's not true, Hizumi. You know Shinya won't steal anything.”  
  
Hizumi sighed, running a hand through his hair.  
  
“You've never liked Shinya, have you? That's why you're refusing to do anything to help him.” Tsukasa whispered, causing Hizumi to flinch.  
  
“Of course I like him!”  
  
 _I just can't understand why you're so fixated on him..._  
  
“Then why won't you help?”  
  
Hizumi sighed again, squeezing his eyes closed. No matter how he tried, he just couldn't deny Tsukasa, couldn't keep trying to show him how loved he was. He had resigned himself long ago to his feelings, but some days were harder than others.  
  
“I'll help you, Tsukasa. But I don't know where to start. I mean, we can hardly peer through the windows of every house in Tokyo now, can we?”  
  
“I know where Tatsuya keeps his accounts. If someone can keep him away from his office for long enough, I can break in and find out where Shinya's been taken.”  
  
“Tsukasa! You can't do that! Do you know what'll happen to you if you get caught? How the hell would we be able to keep him away for long enough? No. I won't let you do it. I can't risk you getting hurt again...”  
  
“Fuck you, Hizumi. All I'm asking for is for you to get me a little time. It's not like I'm asking _you_ to -”  
  
“Shut up, Tsukasa. I didn't say we can't look. I said I won't let _you_ look. You can distract him. You're good at that. I'll break in. That way, even if I get caught, you'll still be safe.”  
  
“Hizumi...”  
  
Hizumi brought his hand back up to Tsukasa's face, cupping his cheek and smiling.  
  
“We'll help Shinya, Tsukasa. I just don't want anything to ever happen to you again. Not after last time. I couldn't bear...” he trailed off as the memory hit him again, and he hurriedly pushed it out of his head. He forced a smile back onto his face. “Come on. The faster we get this finished,” he gestured around at the cleaning equipment, “the faster we can get onto planning what exactly we're going to do.”

***

  
  
The strange man flung a door open, gesturing carelessly inside.  
  
“This is your room while you're here. You can leave your bag here for now. Follow me.”  
  
Shinya quickly threw his bag down next to the bed before hurrying after the other man, only have a brief moment to marvel over the size of the bed and the room it was in. The whole house was enormous, and so far the only other person he had seen was the man driving the car. It was a little disconcerting, having all this space seeming to be for just one person. His fear began to grow again as the man marched ahead of him, leaving Shinya almost having to run to keep up. What would happen if he got left behind? Would he be lost in here forever? And why, _why_ was he even here? What did this Andou want with him? Aside from the obvious, that was. He could have had any of the other boys, so why did he request Shinya specifically? And what had he done with him the night before?  
  
“Excuse me, sir...”  
  
“You will not speak unless I speak to you first. This is the first and most important rule. Understood?”  
  
“Yes, sir.”  
  
“Now what did you want to ask me?”  
  
“Uh...why did you ask for me? Why did you save me last night?”  
  
“Why do you need to know? Isn't it enough that you're here now and not at that place? The question should have been 'what can I do to repay you?' And, of course, the answer is obvious. Do your job.”  
  
Shinya gaped even as he hurried behind Andou. Well. At least he now knew what was expected of him.  
  
“And my name is not 'sir'.”  
  
“But - “  
  
“By that I mean you do not need to be so formal. Daisuke will be fine. Die is better. I prefer to be called Die.”  
  
Shinya almost ran straight into Die's back, the man stopped so suddenly. He turned his head to to side, still not facing Shinya, but neither was he facing away.  
  
“Please. Don't be afraid. And please. Call me Die.”  
  
“Die...”  
  
Shinya stood in confused silence, puzzled by the sudden softening of Die's voice. He had no idea what to make of this man, who seemed unable to decide himself whether to be kind or cruel.  
  
“You may choose anything you like out of this room. While you are here, you may consider everything in here yours. I will leave you here. I expect to see you at the top of those stairs in fifteen minutes with what you have chosen.”  
  
Die pointed to a sweeping staircase opposite the room he had stopped outside of, before nodding once and making his own way up. Shinya allowed his eyes to follow the older man as he left before turning and taking his first look inside this new room.  
  
“No way...” he breathed as he stared. The room was bigger than the one all thirty of them at the brothel slept in together, and it was full of clothes. Men's, women's, formal, casual, anything Shinya could think of was here. He walked up and down the aisles, unable to believe that one person could have so many clothes just hanging here, not being used at all. He wandered, up and down, up and down until his fifteen minutes must surely have been up, and he couldn't even begin to decide what he should choose.  
  
“I thought I told you to meet me at the top of the stairs.”  
  
Shinya spun around, startled to hear Die's voice right behind him.  
  
“I- I'm sorry. I couldn't find anything here.”  
  
“What, is there not enough here for you? Or do you think you're too good for what I have? Is that it?”  
  
“No! That's not it at all! There's just so much - “  
  
“Be quiet now. I don't want to hear your excuses. Fine. I will choose for you. For now, come with me.”  
  
Die grabbed Shinya's wrist, pulling him behind. Shinya was reminded of being pulled along behind Die in much the same fashion along the road just the night before, and he felt his stomach fill with ice.  
  
 _Where is he taking me? What is he going to do?_  
  
Die kept pulling on Shinya, not even seeming to notice when Shinya started to struggle. They reached the top of the stairs, and Die pulled Shinya down a hallway and spun him into another room.  
  
“Wash your hair. Get yourself clean. I washed you last night, but I don't trust that place that you're in. I don't trust that man who claims he looks after you.”  
  
Die spun and exited the room, slamming the door shut behind him. Shinya clutched his wrist, already feeling the bruise beginning to appear. He looked around, finding himself in the changing room of a traditional style bathroom. Steam drifted out, warming Shinya, making him realise that it had been so long since he had done more than quickly wash himself under a cold tap. The temptation was too great, and he tore his clothes off, shoving them into a nearby cubby hole before stepping into the bathroom proper. He found himself a seat next to the shower, turning the water on and warming it before sitting. There were so many different soaps, shampoos, conditioners laid out before him. His hair was the most important to him though, so after ducking his head under the hot water he went through the shampoos, searching for ... he didn't know what. He couldn't remember the last time he had had a choice in shampoos, usually sticking to whatever he could afford after spending the rest of his money on hair dye. He found one that smelled of apples, and decided he had died somewhere along the line and this bathroom here was his heaven. A little more searching found the matching soap and conditioner, and he washed himself all over, scrubbing until he was pink and he was sure the smell of apple was firmly implanted into his skin. He glanced over at the steaming bath, and could resist it no longer. He rinsed himself off as quickly as possible, and turning the shower back off, stepped over to the hot water, sliding in, feeling the heat completely envelope him. He tipped his head back, enjoying this rare chance to relax. He could feel himself starting to drift off, but couldn't summon the energy to care. He was sure Die wouldn't let anything happen to him just yet.   
  
_Not after he's paid so much money to have me, anyway._  
  
“Don't go to sleep. You'll drown.”  
  
Shinya couldn't suppress his smile.  
  
 _Right again._  
  
He opened his eyes to find Die gazing down at him, watching his naked form in the water. This was more his element. If there was one thing Shinya was used to, it was being used for his body. He moved, giving Die the best possible view of what he had to offer, stretching his arms over his head. Die yet again surprised him though, his face growing bright red as he turned away.  
  
“You don't need to do that, either.”  
  
Despite how flustered he clearly was, his voice was steely, causing a chill to run down Shinya's back even with the heat of the bath warming him.  
  
“I'm sorry. I thought - “  
  
“You thought wrong. Get out. Dry yourself off and put on the clothes I left you. I'll be waiting outside.”  
  
Shinya climbed out of the bath, giving it one last longing look as he wrapped himself in the towels Die had left behind. He took one look at the clothes Die had laid out and gasped. Tight black pants, a close fitting white buttoned shirt. A brand new pair of boxers, still in their packet. A black, fur-trimmed jacket. Black leather boots. So simple, but also the most beautiful clothes Shinya had ever had the opportunity to wear. He put the clothes on, staring in wonder at himself in the mirror. He looked … _nice_. No, not just nice. _Respectable._ No one would ever look at him in disgust in these clothes. No one would ever look at him and spit out the word “ _whore_ ”. Not looking like this. He picked up a comb Die must have left behind, because it certainly hadn't been there when he came in, and slowly combed out his long hair until it fell around his shoulders.  
  
“Good. You're ready. Come with me.”  
  
Die opened the door, poking his head around the corner. His gave Shinya a cursory glance before sniffing and turning back into the hall. Shinya stared at him in disbelief, for the hundredth time since Die had brought him here wondering just who he was dealing with. Die himself had changed into a suit. Just a suit. Nothing overly flashy, but neither was it casual enough to be worn around the house.  
  
“This is a test for you, Shinya. Tonight will determine exactly how your stay here will go. Believe me when I say it's in your best interests to remain on your best behaviour.”  
  
Shinya trailed behind Die, and when Die opened the large double doors at the end of the hallway to look down onto a packed ballroom, it was all Shinya could do not to faint. Almost immediately the two of them were surrounded, middle-aged women covered in diamonds, their husbands smiling sycophantly at Die, young men trying to show their wealth while trying at the same time to remain understated.  
  
“And who is this, Andou-sama?”  
  
“Do introduce us to your friend!”  
  
“What an attractive boy he is...” Shinya heard one woman titter behind her hand to her friend. He could feel himself beginning to panic, when a strong arm suddenly wrapped itself around his shoulders. He looked around to find Die smiling at him.  
  
“This is the cousin of an acquaintance of mine. His name is Shinya Terachi. Please do all you can to make him feel welcome. And please, be gentle with him. He is not used to this sort of thing.”  
  
Shinya stared at Die, wondering how the hell he was going to survive this night.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Die is a bit confused about how to act, for reasons that will eventually become clear. He's a doof.


	4. Chapter 4

Shinya stood stiffly at Die's side, the other man still keeping his arm firmly around the Shinya's shoulders. He had no idea what in the hell was going on, except that this party – or whatever it was, Shinya still wasn't too sure – seemed to be in Die's honour. Person after person came to pay their respects to the him, Die smiling graciously at each fawning compliment.  
  
“So, Shinya-san. What is it you do for a living? I imagine it must be something fairly exciting, to have brought you into contact with someone like our Die.”  
  
Shinya's head shot up as the voice floated towards him. He stared straight ahead, into the eyes of a man about his age, his long black hair elaborately decorated with a variety of blue accessories. The man stared intently back at Shinya, and try as he might Shinya couldn't find anything warm in those eyes at all.  
  
“He's just graduated university. As I said earlier, he's the cousin of an acquaintance of mine. He was thinking about getting into a big company, so I offered to introduce him to some people. Tonight seemed as good a night as any.”  
  
Die turned as Shinya struggled to think up a lie, the interruption so smooth that no one would ever have taken it as such. He looked up as Die began chatting with the man who had asked the question, completely and effortlessly distracting him. Shinya wondered yet again who exactly he was dealing with. There was more going on here than just honouring someone at their party. They all seemed to automatically defer to him, immediately acknowledge that Die was somehow _above_ them. It made him feel worthless.  
  
Worthless, and yet ... he lived in a way that none of them could ever know. He was beginning to feel his own perverse sense of superiority over them all, knowing that he had seen and experienced things that they could barely imagine with their pampered lives, and he felt his grin begin to widen. The man who had spoken to him seemed to notice, and even as he was speaking to Die his eyes flicked continually over at Shinya. He decided to turn on every bit of his charm and smiled back at the man, his eyelids falling until he was looking through his lashes. He leaned closer into Die, feeling the other man's muscles tighten slightly underneath him, though his voice never wavered. He was now drawing more than half the black haired man's attention, and he was sure he could detect a faint flickering of heat in those previously cold eyes.  
  
“How rude of me. I didn't introduce you properly. Shinya, this is Toshimasa Hara. Toshimasa, meet Shinya.”  
  
“Please, call me Toshiya. Toshimasa is such a mouthful, don't you think?”  
  
Shinya bowed low, keeping his eyes fixed on Toshiya's for as long as possible.  
  
“I am pleased to meet you, Toshiya.”  
  
Shinya smiled to himself again. This Toshiya would have to be kept in mind, should anything go wrong with Die.

***

  
  
“Are you ready, Hizumi?”  
  
“Of course I am. The question is, are you?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Hizumi was torn between wanting to smile at Tsukasa's determination, and fearing for him. He had refused to tell Hizumi exactly what his plan was, and now Hizumi was tempted to pull out entirely. But he had promised, and whatever Tsukasa did, would for him be worth it. But if Hizumi backed out, he had the feeling it would be a very long time until Tsukasa forgave him. And so he was stuck, helping Tsukasa do something that somehow Hizumi knew he was going to regret. If he ever found out what it was.  
  
“I'll see you soon then, okay? Just find what we need and get out. Just in case I can't keep him away long enough. You remember where I said it's all kept?”  
  
“Right. And yes, I remember.”  
  
Tsukasa turned to leave, pulling up short when Hizumi grabbed his wrist. He turned back to find Hizumi staring at the floor.  
  
“Stay safe, okay Tsukasa?”  
  
“I will.”

“Don't do anything stupid.”

“I won't, Hizumi.”  
  
Hizumi let go of the other man's wrist, not looking up until he was sure he was gone. He hurried to the attic of what Tatsuya referred to as his 'office building', wriggling his way out of the small window then clambering onto the roof, peering over the gutter until he saw Tatsuya approaching the building. He held his breath, hoping that Tsukasa would reach the boss in time, before Hizumi was caught. He watched as Tatsuya got closer and closer, and he bit his lip, almost cutting the skin by the time Tsukasa finally burst out and started gesturing towards Tatsuya. He couldn't hear what Tsukasa was saying, but apparently it worked because Tatsuya turned and hurried back to where the younger man was standing. Together they walked back inside the main building, and Hizumi swung himself over the edge of the roof, hanging by his fingertips before his feet finally felt the ledge of the window. Carefully he edged his way along, still clinging to the roof while he eased the window open with his toes. After some minutes of struggling with it, he finally got it open, and managed to swing himself around and in. Panting, he hit the floor, his fingers aching from holding his weight up all that time. He stood back up, stretching out even as he began his search. He rifled through papers, not quite sure what exactly he was looking for, just trying to find anything that had Shinya's name on it. He could feel the sweat beginning to bead on his forehead the longer he took, and he could almost hear Tatsuya turning his key in the lock, could practically feel the man staring at him going through his desk.  
  
“Dammit, where the hell are you,” he muttered to himself, fingers shaking so badly he dropped a stack of papers to the floor. Panicked, he picked them up, and found what he was looking for.  
  
“What the fuck...”

***

  
  
Hizumi walked, still stunned, towards the other building. He had placed the papers back in a daze, and he was sure it would amaze him later that he had managed to get back out of the window without slipping and plummeting to the ground. He still couldn't believe what he'd seen – if, in fact, Tatsuya was telling the truth on that single piece of paper. Then again, he had no reason to lie there. So it _had_ to be true. How the hell Shinya had managed to attract someone like that was beyond Hizumi's knowledge. He stumbled up the stairs, not even really caring if he ran into Tatsuya. It was only when he passed the bathroom that the outside world began to penetrate the fog in his mind. The moans coming from there were all too familiar.  
  
“Tsukasa?”

Alarm rising, he burst into the room, only to stop in horror.  
  
“Tsukasa!”  
  
The other man peered around from behind Tatsuya's semi-naked form, bent over the sink, abject misery and a pleading for forgiveness the only things Hizumi could see on his face.  
  
“Get the fuck off him!” Hizumi screamed, rushing forwards to pull Tatsuya away. The older man for his part casually swung a hand around, Hizumi spinning away and into the wall as it connected.  
  
“Get out, you little shit. Can't you see I'm busy here?”  
  
All Hizumi could do was watch in numb shock as Tatsuya turned back, pushing Tsukasa's head down until Hizumi could no longer see his face.

***

  
  
Shinya leaned against Die. It amazed him that even now that Die's conversation had moved to other people, Toshiya stayed around, his glittering eyes fixed firmly on Shinya. It made Shinya more sure that perhaps his backup plan _could_ work, if he was given enough time to work on it.  
  
“Andou-sama, I do apologise, but could we have a moment of your time? Alone?”  
  
Die looked down at Shinya, smiling apologetically before releasing him. The blond watched as the older man was lead away, and was not at all surprised when Toshiya moved closer, almost taking Die's spot. They stood in silence, other people's curious eyes remaining on Shinya for a while longer after Die left. Finally though, they moved off, and Toshiya leaned in closer to whisper into Shinya's ear.  
  
“So. Shinya. Why are you _really_ here?”  
  
“It's like Die said. He's just introducing me to some people before I decide which company I should work for.”  
  
“A very nice lie, but a lie all the same. I know who you are. I know what you do. What I want to know is, how did you worm your way into _our_ Die's company? And by company, I mean his house. His life. Someone like you has no right whatsoever to be here.”  
  
“I have no idea what you are talking about, Toshiya. Maybe you're confusing me with someone else?” The lies continued to roll off Shinya's tongue, but his stomach was tying itself in knots. How could this Toshiya know who he was? Would he say anything to anyone else, or would he wait to find out what Die knew first?  
  
 _And there goes my safety net..._  
  
Toshiya laughed.  
  
“Don't try and play games with me, Shinya. You're no match for someone like me. I'm going to find out what you're up too. And then I'll stop you. You'll learn that there's a place for everyone. And this is not yours.”  
  
“Ah, I'm glad to see that the two of you are getting on.”  
  
Shinya shivered slightly as Die materialised, seemingly out of nowhere, at his other side. He shook his head as he realised his smile was matching Toshiya's, so to anyone looking it would appear as though they had just shared a particularly amusing joke.  
  
“I'm sorry, Toshiya, but I'm going to have to take Shinya away from you for now. There is something he needs to do for me.”  
  
“I'm sure there is,” Toshiya said, nodding slightly towards Die. “And I'm sure he'll be only too willing to help you.”  
  
Die gave Toshiya an odd look as he turned, his arm back around Shinya's shoulders as he guided him. Die practically _pushed_ Shinya through the crowd of people still trying to talk to him, and even though there was no possible way for him to be able to see them, Shinya could still feel Toshiya's eyes on his back.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Shinya blinked, his surroundings gradually coming into focus.  
  
 _What the..._  
  
He groaned, forcing unwilling muscles to respond, pulling himself into a sitting position. A thick blanket fell from him as he moved, pooling around his waist. He looked down to find that he was wearing, of all things, a pair of pyjamas covered in cartoon cats.  
  
“Why...?” he breathed, his heart beginning to pound in his chest. The door began to creak open and he spun his head to look, clutching the blanket back up to his chest as if it could protect him.  
  
“Shinya? You're awake. Good.” Die pushed the door further open, entering the room as he spoke, his face a mix of concern, fear ... and something else Shinya couldn't identify.  
  
“What happened? The last thing I remember is following you out of that room. Did you drug me?” he hissed, anger suddenly filling him. The last time Die had dragged him somewhere, the same thing had happened, and he _knew_ he had been drugged that time.  
  
“Drugged? Of course I didn't! I would never do that to - “ Die stopped abruptly, his eyes widening slightly. He shook his head, the calm expression returning as he did so. “You were following me and just ... fell. I don't know what happened. I brought you up here, had a doctor look at you. He said you were exhausted and to just let you sleep. So that's what I did.”  
  
Shinya sat in silence, his mind racing. It was true he didn't _feel_ like he'd been drugged, just tired, but still ... he couldn't help but feel that Die was hiding something. There was something in the way he had stopped so abruptly, something in that strange look he'd had on his face when he first entered the room.  
  
“So what am I doing today. I assume I'm going to have to earn my keep at some point.”  
  
Die gave him a quizzical look, tilting his head to the side.  
  
“You have to eat,” he said, looking as though he was going to give up on trying to work our what Shinya was getting at. “I'll have some food brought up.”  
  
Shinya sighed as Die left the room, wondering yet again just why exactly he was here. It wasn't that he didn't trust Die – well, actually, that had a _lot_ to do with it – but there was something else. He hated feeling that there was something going on that involved him in some way. Slowly he pushed the blanket back down, looking for the first time since he had woken up at the room he was in. Maybe he could find something he could work with here, though it was highly unlikely that there would be anything useful. It wasn't the room that Die had told him would be his. That room had been huge, whereas this one was not small, exactly, but certainly a lot smaller than that one had been. The bed was still huge, taking up a good chunk of the available floor space, and there were two sets of drawers, one with an enormous mirror. He climbed off the bed and padded over to stand in front of the mirror. The pyjamas he was wearing were too big. They hung off him, not enough to trip him up, but enough to emphasise just how thin he was. He hugged himself, feeling oddly comfortable in these clothes that weren't his, and sighed again. Very faintly he detected a smell, something familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. He sighed again, letting his arms fall back to his sides before leaning down and opening the drawers one by one.  
  
“You'll only find your own things in there.”  
  
Shinya jumped up in alarm, the strange voice shocking him out of his search.  
  
“I – I was just looking for some clothes to wear.”  
  
“Yeah. I'm sure you were.” was the not quite sarcastic reply. Shinya stared at the new arrival. He was a short, bleached blond man, dressed in a white shirt and checked pants. His hair was sticking out in all directions from under a white cloth tied around his head. He had in his hands a tray full of covered dishes, and his eyes twinkled in impish amusement. Shinya recognised him as the driver of the car from the day before.  
  
“I was!” Shinya replied defensively, hugging his arms around his chest. “Anyway, who are you?”  
  
“Like I said, I'm sure you were. Who am I? I'm the chef here. And I come bearing the food Die asked me to cook for you. Well, when I say he asked me to cook it for you, I mean he just asked for food but didn't tell me what. So you get what you get, and you'll like it.”  
  
Shinya watched as the imp put the tray down on the other set of drawers and turned to look at him.  
  
“So. Where are you gonna eat this? You gonna eat in bed, or you want me to get a chair out for you? I don't think Die's gonna care either way, so long as you eat.”  
  
“You call him Die.”  
  
“What else would I call him?”  
  
“Everyone else calls him Andou-sama.”  
  
“Yeah, like I'd call that dickhead any name other than Die. Except maybe 'oi, dickhead'. I'm not going to bow and scrape to _Die_ of all people like everyone else does. He gets enough smoke blown up his ass around here.”  
  
Shinya stared in amazement at the little man in front of him. If he was the chef here, and this was Die's house, then that would make Die this man's boss. But he certainly wasn't acting like an employee. Maybe he should be careful. He decided to try a new tack.  
  
“Why _does_ everyone defer to him? Who is he exactly?”  
  
The imp let out a long, low whistle before snickering.  
  
“You serious? Are you honestly telling me you don't know who Daisuke Andou is? Well, if Die hasn't seen fit to tell you, I'm not about to go against him. He may be a dickhead, but he's still my friend. So you'll have to find out from someone else. Now. What's your name, so that when Die forgets he hasn't told me and starts talking about you like I'm supposed to know what in the hell he's on about, I actually have a clue.”  
  
“Shinya. Shinya Terachi. What's your name?”  
  
“Shinya, huh?” the imp continued, blithely ignoring Shinya's question. “That's a rather pretty name, isn't it? And how fitting it is, too. See. Now I know a little something about you.”  
  
Shinya flushed red, suddenly deeply ashamed. This man had a penetrating gaze, and it seemed that he could read right into the very heart of Shinya. He pulled his arms tighter across his chest, trying to stare the imp down but failing miserably.  
  
“I'll eat now. If you're done, you can go. I don't need to be watched.”  
  
The imp shrugged as if to say 'suit yourself', turned and left. Shinya turned to the tray, the smells drifting up from it by now making his mouth water. He took the lids off all the dishes, eager to start eating. Miso. Plain white sticky rice. Rice sprinkled through with black sesame. Tonkatsu. Shredded cabbage. Yakisoba. Not his idea of breakfast, but then again, for the last how ever many years it had been, breakfast had been a mythical meal. He picked up the chopsticks and began eating, not realising until the first bite touched his lips just how _hungry_ he was. He couldn't remember the last time he had tasted anything quite this good. Before he knew it the plates and bowls were empty, and with a quick look around to make sure no one had entered without him noticing, he lifted a plate and began to lick the sauce off.  
  
“Hungry, were you? He's a good cook though. I can understand wanting to eat every last bit.”  
  
Shinya froze, only his eyes turning to see Die leaning against the door frame, arms crossed, lips curling up to betray a smile at the sight of Shinya standing with a plate held up to his face, tongue sticking out. Slowly Shinya closed his mouth, gently lowering the plate back onto the tray.  
  
“Still in your pyjamas, I see.”  
  
Shinya looked down self-consciously. “I haven't had time to get changed yet.”  
  
“That's okay. Just take your time. It's up to you whether you want to wear your own clothes, or go back to the room downstairs and choose something from there.”  
  
“I'm upstairs? I thought my room was downstairs.”  
  
Die looked away, staring at something in the corner of the room.  
  
“After what happened last night, I thought it best to keep an eye on you. This room is opposite my own.”  
  
Something inside Shinya snapped.  
  
“What the hell am I doing here, _Daisuke_? Who the hell are you? What was all that about last night?”  
  
Die just looked back at Shinya, his expression sad.  
  
“I can't tell you just yet. But you'll find out.”

***

  
  
Hizumi sat on his bed with Tsukasa, gently stroking the silent boy's hair.  
  
“You shouldn't have gone in there, you know, Hizumi.”  
  
“How could I not, hearing what was happening?”  
  
“What good did it do? You have a huge bruise on the side of your face, and it still kept happening. Still. At least the distraction worked, huh?”  
  
Hizumi froze.  
  
“Tsukasa. Did you set that up?”  
  
“Set what up?”  
  
“You know what I'm talking about. Now answer the question.”  
  
“I'm a fucking whore, Hizumi, just like you. It's not like I was letting him take my innocence or whatever fairy tale you have running through your head. I'll do whatever it takes to get things done. And this is to help our friend, Hizumi. It was nothing.”  
  
Hizumi sat in silence, a million emotions rushing through him and threatening to sweep him away. Anger, sadness, pity, all circling a numb core. The thought that Tsukasa would give himself up to anyone who asked, offer himself to even someone like Tatsuya to help someone else, when Hizumi couldn't even bring himself to kiss Tsukasa out of love...  
  
“Why do you do this, Tsukasa...” he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut.  
  
“The same reason you do, Hizumi. It's not like we have a choice any more.”

***

  
  
“So. What are you planning on doing?”  
  
“I haven't decided yet. I don't know what Andou knows. Knowing that bastard he's probably perfectly aware of what Shinya is and is enjoying toying with everyone.”  
  
Toshiya sat opposite a dark haired man, smoking cigarette after cigarette. This man had come highly recommended, though so far he had done nothing but ask questions any fool could find the answers to on their own. Still, the people who had suggested him to Toshiya were the types of people who knew what they were talking about, so for now he tolerated it. It wasn't like it had been cheap just to get this meeting, so he might as well get his money's worth.  
  
“How about for starters I find out exactly what Andou knows about this Terachi, and what their connection is.”  
  
“I already know their connection. And anyway, it won't be that easy. Andou doesn't let just anyone find out about him.”  
  
“I'm not just anyone. And it will be that easy. Just give me the word, and we can start negotiating.”  
  
“I told you, you've never dealt with anyone like Andou. You can't use whatever your normal tricks are.”  
  
“Do you want me to do this or not? If you don't, I'll leave now and we can pretend this never happened. I'll even give you a fifty per cent refund on what you've already paid. How's that for generous.”  
  
Toshiya sat and stared at the blank faced man opposite him. A thousand conflicting thoughts were running through his head, but there was one overpowering all the others: there was no _way_ he could allow Shinya to ruin his plans. He stubbed out his cigarette, already pulling a new one out of the pack as he reached a decision.  
  
“Fine. Do it. And I want to hear back from you once you've found out as much as you can. I'll decide what I want you to do next once I know what's going on.”  
  
The man nodded once and stood.  
  
“I'll be in contact. It may take a few days.”  
  
“Wait. What if I need to get in touch with you?”  
  
The man stood and stared down at Toshiya, his face unreadable. He stood staring for so long that Toshiya began to think he'd made a mistake in asking. With a barely perceptible movement, the man held out a card. Toshiya took it and looked. All that was printed on it was a number. No name. Nothing else at all.  
  
“Ask for Zero.”  
  
Toshiya just sat and watched as Zero walked away.

 


	6. Chapter 6

****

Shinya sat on the edge of his bed, idly kicking his feet back and forth. The previous day Die had left him pretty much to his own devices, only popping in to see him when he was getting ready to have food brought up. For the most part Shinya had just sat around the room, although Die had given him permission to walk around the house. Truth be told, Shinya was just too tired to do anything much, so he had been grateful for the peace that he had been given. Privacy and quiet weren't things he tended to get a lot of, so he intended to enjoy them as much as he possibly could while he had the opportunity. When night had fallen he had climbed back into the pyjamas he had woken in and clambered back into bed, pulling the blankets right around him, savouring the all too rare feeling of security. When he had eventually woken it had been to the sight of the imp hovering right over his face, grinning madly. In his shock Shinya had reflexively sat bolt upright, causing their heads to bang together.  
  
“Ow! What sort of greeting is that? And after I brought you breakfast, too,” the man had said, rubbing his forehead.  
  
“Huh? What sort of way is that to wake up? You do realise what your face looks like, don't you?” Shinya had retorted, feeling slightly guilty at his overt meanness but too annoyed to care much more than that.  
  
“What's wrong with my face? Okay, my teeth are kinda crooked, but aside from that what exactly is there that's wrong? I'll tell you what - nothing, that's what. You better watch how you speak to people, boy.”  
  
Shinya had mumbled an apology, and the imp had handed him the tray and wandered back out again. He ate, refraining from licking the plate again just in case, and had made his way down to the clothes room, picking out some pants and a shirt to wear. He tried to work out how long it would take to get through everything that was in there, then gave up, thinking it would probably be impossible to wear all that the room contained.  
  
“I hope you're putting on something decent.”  
  
“Depends on your definition of decent, I suppose.”  
  
Shinya was beginning to grow used to the way people in this house seemed to sneak up on him, so when Die spoke he casually turned his head while continuing to pick out clothes.  
  
“Let me see.”  
  
Shinya cocked his head. It seemed the old Die was back again. His voice was gruff, his face expressionless. There was no trace whatsoever of the soft, almost caring man from yesterday. He held his hand out, fingers twitching impatiently for Shinya to hand over the clothes he had picked. Hesitantly Shinya held them out, and Die held them up, inspecting them for...  
  
 _For what?_ _What is so important about what I'm wearing?_  
  
“These are fine. Put them on and wait in your room. I'll come and get you once I'm ready.”  
  
Shinya nodded, returning to his room and changing, brushing his hair out, and now he waited for whatever it was Die was after. Half an hour, an hour, two ... he lost track of how long he sat and waited. Eventually he lay back down, letting his eyes drift shut. He was vaguely aware of sounds around him – birds chirping, cars travelling the roads far from the house, but as his mind stilled he noticed them less and less. In his mind Die entered the room, his bright hair cascading around his shoulders, clad in a black tuxedo. He smiled and sat next to Shinya, pulling him towards him until Shinya's head was resting on his lap. Gently Die began stroking his hair, his free hand dropping down to gently squeeze and massage Shinya's shoulders. He sighed and looked up to see Die smiling down at him, his eyes so soft and full of feeling. Shinya smiled shyly, and Die leaned down, pressing his lips so softly to Shinya's that the younger man could hardly tell they were there. Hungrily he reached up, wrapping his arms around Die, forcing him to kiss him harder. Reluctantly they separated, Shinya's eyes fluttering open to look into Die's eyes.  
  
“Die...” he whispered.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
Shinya's eyes snapped open, the dream shattered as reality returned.  
  
 _What the HELL was that all about?_  
  
He could feel his face heating when he realised Die really was standing just in front of him. Much to his uneasy shock he saw Die wearing a tux very similar to the one in his dream.  
  
“I – I was just sleeping.”  
  
Die stood over Shinya, his face as unreadable as it had been that morning.  
  
“Hmm. Get up. We're going out.”

***

  
  
Zero sat in the car, idly waiting for the right time. His 'inquiries' within Die's household may well have proven to be very useful. He opened the door of the car when he saw movement behind the gates, smoothing his hair down before locking the door and jogging forwards. He rang the bell, waiting nervously. Die pulled the gates open himself, much to Zero's surprise.  
  
 _So they neglected to mention just how hands on he can be..._  
  
“Can I help you?”  
  
“Andou-sama? My name is Nobuya Tanaka. I've come about the job in the kitchen?”  
  
“Oh. I'm sorry, I'm a little busy today. Please come back again in a few days.”  
  
“Well, may I perhaps speak to someone else? If they don't like me, they can tell me now, and you won't need to waste your time at all.”  
  
Die stood and stared at Zero. He thought he was beginning to understand Die's somewhat impressive reputation, based purely on the penetrating stare he had.  
  
“Fine. I'm on my way out now, but I'll call my chef to come and get you, so you can wait here for now. How will that be?”  
  
“That would be very good. I thank you very much, Andou-sama.”  
  
“Yes, alright. Shinya? Come on. We're going now.”  
  
Zero watched in interest as he got his first glimpse of Shinya. He was tall – not quite as tall as Die, but the shoes he had on put him pretty close. His hair was long and blond, and he was dressed in dark blue jeans and a silvery, loose fitting shirt, quite in contrast to Die's immaculate tuxedo. The man was quite striking, if a little on the thin side. He had accentuated his eyes with mascara and eyeliner, and he seemed to be quite shy. Shy, that is, until he looked at Zero. In his eyes Zero recognised someone like himself – strong, stubborn, and far from easily pushed around. Someone, in fact, who would be a much more formidable target than Die himself, despite his reputation.  
  
 _This could prove to be very interesting ... I think I see now why Toshiya is so threatened._  
  
He watched as the gates clanked closed, watched as Die pulled his cellphone out and call the house, watched as the mismatched pair made their way down the private road, one more than overdressed for the occasion. He was intrigued, and only the knowledge that he still had a more important job to do stopped him from following them.

***

  
  
“Tsukasa, I'm not going to work tonight.”  
  
“What? Don't be stupid, Hizumi. Tatsuya will beat the shit out of you if you refuse to go.”  
  
“I know. But I'm not doing it. I've had enough, Tsukasa. Haven't you?”  
  
“How many times do I have to tell you, what we want doesn't matter any more. It's too late for us.”  
  
“But-”  
  
“But nothing, Hizumi! It's about time you accepted it, don't you think? And anyway, you promised to help me. You still haven't told me what you found out about the guy that Shinya's gone off with.”  
  
Hizumi sat next to Tsukasa in frustrated silence. He _knew_ they could have a better life. He knew if he had the chance he would be able to find a way to look after Tsukasa, find a way to protect him so neither of them would ever have to work, to _live_ like this again. But so long as they stayed here, that chance would never come. They'd never be able to break free. And though it made him feel guilty just for thinking it, part of him blamed Tsukasa for that. Living like this, no matter how bad it could get, no matter how close Tsukasa had come to dying – it was still all that they knew. And for someone like Tsukasa, the break into the unknown was just too big.  
  
“Hizumi? What did you find out?”  
  
“I can't tell you. Not yet. Not until I find out if it's true or not. But believe me ... if it is, we're kinda screwed.”  
  
“Hizumi?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
Hizumi looked over at Tsukasa, his chest threatening to burst even as a wave of overwhelming affection drowned him. The way Tsukasa looked right now, his stubbornness, his fear, his worry, they all blended into one as he looked at Hizumi with pleading eyes.  
  
“You won't leave me behind, will you?”  
  
Hizumi pulled Tsukasa closer, holding his head to his chest.  
  
“I'll never leave you behind, Tsukasa.”

***

  
  
“Die? Where are we going? And why are you in a tuxedo?”  
  
“You'll see. And I'm in it because I haven't had a chance to get changed yet. Why? Don't you like it?”  
  
Die grinned over his shoulder as he walked, his hands shoved carelessly into his pockets.  
  
 _So. Nice Die is back again, is he?_  
  
Shinya shrugged, deciding to just see what was happening instead of questioning why on earth he would have needed to be in a tux for only a few hours on a weekday morning. On and on they trudged, until finally Die came to a stop in front of an obviously abandoned house. He looked from Shinya to the house and back again, smiling.  
  
“Well? What do you think?”  
  
“Um. Think of what? It's an abandoned house. It looks like it's been abandoned for a long time.”  
  
Die looked at Shinya, the smile fading from his face until it was replaced by the sad look from the day before.  
  
“You don't remember?”  
  
“Remember what? What the hell are you talking about?”  
  
Shinya was beginning to grow frustrated. It seemed that all Die had brought him here for was to play games.  
  
“You grew up in this house, Shinya. Before your parents died. This was where you lived.”

***

  
  
Zero walked behind the one who had introduced himself as the head chef. He had given his name as Kyo, but Zero had been in his line of work long enough to know that wasn't the name he had been given as a baby. Maybe it was just a nickname, maybe there was something more to it. It was something he might try and find out, if he found himself a little bored. He memorised the layout as they walked, taking notes of what rooms lay where, looking out for anything that he might need to know in future. To his great surprise he could find no evidence of cameras anywhere, hidden or otherwise. Either they were _extremely_ well hidden, or there just weren't any.  
  
 _And he grows more and more interesting..._  
  
“Here we go. Please, take a seat.”  
  
Zero sat, handing his references and identification over as he did so. He was quite proud of the work he had done on them. There was absolutely no _way_ anyone would be able to figure out just how fake they actually were. He allowed his attention to wander while Kyo spoke, answering at appropriate times, smiling when required, but otherwise making sure he could get as familiar with this place as he could. There was no way he was going to be turned down for this. Kyo was as good as wrapped around his little finger already, judging by the way he was fawning over everything he had handed over. And with Kyo on side, it was only a matter of time until Die was convinced. And after that...  
  
 _You're all mine._

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

Shinya stared at Die, completely dumbfounded.  
  
“What?”  
  
“You grew up in this house, Shinya. Before your parents died.”  
  
“No, I didn't. You're lying. I don't know what the hell it is exactly that you want from me, but lying about stuff like this is _not_ going to help you get it.”  
  
“I'm not lying Shinya. This was your house.”  
  
“No, you _a_ _re_ lying. And do you know how I know you're lying? Because only my father is dead. He killed himself, then my mother sold me, just abandoned me, because she was no mother at all and couldn't be bothered raising a child without my father's help.”  
  
“That's not true, Shinya. Your father killed himself, that much is true. But your mother never abandoned you to live her own life. She gave you to Tatsuya, thinking he was running an orphanage. She was sick. She was already dying. She kept it secret, though no one ever knew why. By the time we - by the time people around her found out, she had already given you up and passed away. No one could find you anywhere.”  
  
“No. No. My mother never loved me. _Never._ ”  
  
“She loved you very much.”  
  
“I'm going back now.”  
  
Shinya turned and ran, not paying any sort of attention to where he was going, just trying to get away from Die and his lies.  
  
 _My mother abandoned me. She didn't love me. She's still out there somewhere. She didn't die. She never loved me..._  
  
Shinya ran and ran, not once noticing the footsteps following behind.

***

  
  
“Hizumi, I know you said you don't want to work, but...can we go out together tonight?”  
  
“Of course we can. Why would you even need to ask?”  
  
“I just ... I don't know. I was kind of worried you wouldn't want to go with me. I've been kinda mean the last couple of days.”  
  
“Tsukasa, it's fine. I don't take any of it personally. And anyway, you've been worried about Shinya.”  
  
Tsukasa looked up and smiled. “Have I ever told you that I love you the most out of everybody here?”  
  
Hizumi's own smile faltered at that. It felt like Tsukasa had just kicked him in the stomach.  
  
 _How much do I wish that you meant that the way I do?_  
  
“I love you too, Tsukasa.”

***

  
  
Shinya found himself standing outside the gates of Die's house. They were locked, and he had no way of getting in, but it didn't stop him from shaking the bars, determined to get them off their hinges.  
  
“Shinya,” Die panted, catching up with the blond. “Here. Let me open them.”  
  
Shinya dropped his arms from the gates, folding them in front of him. He refused to respond. He had no idea why he was so angry. It was just a made up story, and it wasn't like people hadn't done stuff like that before.  
  
 _So why am I letting this affect me so much?_  
  
“Shin, I want you to know that I'm not making this up. You lived in that house. Your parents were wonderful parents.”  
  
“Let me inside. I need to get my stuff.”  
  
Shinya pushed passed Die as the gates opened, forcing himself not to run, maintaining an even pace. He refused to listen to anything Die had to say, instead making his way to his room. Die eventually took the hint, his voice growing still, but he didn't stop following Shinya, remaining a careful few steps behind. Shinya pushed the door open, regretting slightly that he didn't shove it hard enough for it to bounce back into Die. He began tearing his clothes out of the drawers, flinging them into the middle of the room.  
  
“Shinya. What are you doing.”  
  
Shinya ignored Die, continuing to collect together what few belongings he had. He was aware of Die moving, but had no idea what he was doing until Die grabbed him, pinning him against the wall.  
  
“Shinya. I asked you what you're doing.”  
  
“What does it look like I'm doing? I'm leaving.”  
  
Die's face grew calm, expressionless, and Shinya's stomach grew tight in alarm.  
  
“Why would you go back there? I know how you're all treated.”  
  
“At least there I know exactly what's going to happen. I know no one will pull something like what you did. I don't know what the hell you thought you were doing, but I'm not going to put up with it.”  
  
“Yes, you will. You are staying here. Because I've paid for you, Shinya. That means that for the time that I've bought you, you're mine.”  
  
Die suddenly leaned forward, crushing his lips against Shinya's own, his hands dropping down to Shinya's hips to pull their two bodies together. Shinya stood, frozen in shock as Die feverishly began kissing his face, making his way down to bite gently on his neck.  
  
“So I really am here for you to use and abuse as you please. Just another possession to be bought and paid for.”  
  
Die stopped at the dull voice, releasing Shinya as he looked up.  
  
“I'm going to get through to you, Shinya.”  
  
He backed away, staring straight into Shinya's eyes until the blond felt his skin begin to crawl.  
  
“You're staying until the week is up. If I haven't changed your mind by then, you're free to go. But until then you stay.”  
  
Die turned, pulling the door shut behind him. It was only faint, but Shinya heard the click as the key was turned in the lock.  
  
“If I've changed my mind? What on earth would possess me to stay here with someone like _you_?” he muttered, feeling all the fight leave him. His eyes dropped to the pile of clothes on the floor, and the thought crossed his mind that perhaps he should pick them up, put them away.  
  
 _No. HE can get them cleaned up._  
  
He knew it was a childish, petty way to act, but he didn't care. His frustration was reaching all new levels, and now here he was, stuck in a locked room, trapped in here by someone who he honestly had no idea if he was insane or not.  
  
 _There must be SOME way for me to get out of here..._  
  
He made his way over to the windows, not really believing that he would be able to get them open and finding that he was right. His hand drifted, almost of it's own accord, up to his lips, gently brushing over where Die had kissed him. A storm of butterflies flew up in his stomach, and he squeezed his eyes shut, refusing to acknowledge the feeling. It was altogether too close to the dream he had had while waiting for Die, if at the other end of the niceness spectrum.  
  
“Why is he doing this to me?” he whispered, staring out the window.

***

  
  
Zero made his way back out of the house. It had been a stroke of luck, getting Kyo to talk for so long. By the time he had finished, Die had returned, and he had been distracted enough by something that it had taken only a few words from Kyo to have him agreeing to hire him. It was dependent on security checks, but they wouldn't find a single thing on Nobuya Tanaka. _His_ life had been squeaky clean. The job was his.  
  
 _Now the work gets interesting..._  
  
First on his list was Shinya. He had to find out everything about him, and that included his exact relationship with Die, regardless of what the client had said. So far Kyo hadn't given anything away, but he had to be careful not to ask too much. Seeming too interested would just be seen as suspicious. And in any case ... he had a plan to get Shinya out into the open. There would be time. Toshiya was willing to wait, so long as waiting didn't mean his own plans went up in smoke. Zero smiled to himself. That was an interesting one. Toshiya. He had no idea what the man was up to, and really didn't care, but he was certain that should he ever find out, any effort expended in doing so would be more than worth it. The man had depths, that was for certain. And though Zero had worked for some truly evil men in his time, he didn't think Toshiya was _bad_ as such. Misguided, self-centred, deluded to the core, yes, but not bad. Maybe after he was done here he would try and find out more about him, since a little fun never hurt anyone.  
  
 _Can't be all work, after all._

***

  
  
Hizumi and Tsukasa walked their way down the narrow side streets, the back alleys that were their usual haunts. The snow had fallen again, a thick coating that hid the dirt, the tiredness, and left everything fresh. Hizumi stared at the pristine whiteness, wondering if he would ever find some way to feel the same. He glanced up at Tsukasa, who was doing his best to entice a couple of guys who had evidently gotten lost, and wondered if Tsukasa would ever _want_ to reclaim that feeling. So far tonight Hizumi had made nothing. His growing obsession with looking after Tsukasa had made sure of that. He couldn't bear to leave him for one second out here by himself, where anything could happen to him. He knew all too well what could happen to someone like Tsukasa, and he was damned if he would let it happen ever again.  
  
“Hizumi. What's the matter? You're not even trying tonight.”  
  
Hizumi smiled wanly, but any words he could have spoken died long before they reached his throat.  
  
“Hizumi? You're starting to worry me.”  
  
“Don't worry about me, Tsukasa. You know I'll always be fine.”  
  
“Hizumi? Don't talk like that. You worry me. It makes me think that you're planning on doing something. Something bad. Something that might hurt you.”  
  
Tsukasa had such a look of concern on his face that Hizumi couldn't resist pulling him into an embrace, almost crushing the other man but he couldn't bring himself to let go, just wanting to feel him as close as possible.  
  
“Well, well. Look what we have here. A couple of faggot whores.”  
  
Hizumi spun towards the voice, instinctively pushing Tsukasa behind him.  
  
“Oh look. Protecting your faggot boyfriend, are you?”  
  
Hizumi could hardly see the man the voice belonged to. His voice was deep, his words slurred. He was almost certainly a drunk that had wandered down this way, and was eager for a fight.  
  
“Look. You leave us alone, and we'll leave you alone, okay? How does that sound?”  
  
“Yeah? And what if I don't _want_ to leave you alone? What if I want to mess around a bit?”  
  
“Then you'll have to find someone else. We aren't here to mess around.”  
  
“I don't think I like you. But your boyfriend there – I like the look of him. Give him to me.”  
  
“No.” Hizumi spoke quietly, steel in his voice. He could take himself being spoken to like that, hell, if worst came to worst then he could take whatever this guy wanted to dish out. But not Tsukasa.  
  
 _There's no WAY I'll let you touch Tsukasa._  
  
“Tsukasa, huh?”  
  
Hizumi hadn't realised he'd spoken out loud until the drunk before them spoke again.  
  
“I think I'll have you, Tsukasa.”  
  
Before Hizumi knew what had happened the man had grabbed him and pulled him away, throwing him into the wall before grabbing at Tsukasa.  
  
 _Not again. I'm not letting this happen again._  
  
He picked himself up, getting ready to launch himself forwards. Tsukasa was fighting, but without warning he froze, his eyes widening. Hizumi took his chance and grabbed the man, spinning him around and away from Tsukasa. There was a clatter as something bounced off the wall, and the man ran. Hizumi looked down in a daze at the knife lying on the snow, red droplets sprayed out around it.  
  
“Hizumi! Hizumi, what did he -” Tsukasa froze before Hizumi, his eyes growing even wider, his hand flying to his mouth. “Hizumi, what did he do...”  
  
Hizumi looked down at his stomach, the pain finally kicking in, watching as the trickle that had caused the spray widened into a flood, the blood pouring down his legs to stain what had been such perfect snow. He sunk to his knees, looking up at Tsukasa as tears poured down the other man's face almost as fast as the blood was flowing out of Hizumi. His vision began to grow dim, the cold spreading up his body, onto the side of his face as he lay on the snow. He opened his mouth, trying to tell Tsukasa that he was fine, he would be fine.  
  
“...love you...”  
  
“Hizumi! Wake up. You promised you wouldn't leave me behind!”

***

  
  
Shinya lay on the bed, blankets carelessly thrown over him. It was pitch black outside.  
  
 _Must be at least three a.m..._ he thought, wondering how the others were getting on at the moment. He was missing Hizumi and Tsukasa particularly. As much as he hated Tatsuya, he was still looking forward to getting back to see his friends. He stretched, smiling as he thought of what the others could be up to.  
  
 _Knowing Hizumi, he's probably following Tsukasa like a lost puppy._  
  
He stretched a little, sleepiness finally beginning to claim him. He was just growing drowsy, about to drop off, when the lock rattled and Die came bursting through the door. The light flicked on and Shinya sat up, blinking as Die threw some clothes onto the bed.  
  
“Shinya, get dressed. We have to get to the hospital.”  
  
“What? Why?”  
  
“You have a friend named Hizumi, don't you?”

 

A chill ran through Shinya.  
  
“Yes,” he answered, and it was only then that he noticed how pale and strained Die's face was.  
  
“You have to come to the hospital _now_.”  
  
Shinya wasted no time in throwing the clothes on and following Die out the door.

 


	8. Chapter 8

“What happened to him?” Shinya asked as the car sped through the Tokyo streets. Die didn't answer at first, and when he did his words were obviously carefully chosen.  
  
“I don't know, exactly. Something happened, and he's being rushed to the hospital right now. We should make it not long after he does.”  
  
Shinya hugged himself, his arms tight around his own body. Die reached across tentatively, one hand resting on Shinya's shoulder. Shinya shrugged, but when Die's hand stayed where it was he decided to just leave it there. It was oddly comforting to have that human contact right now, even if it _was_ coming from him. They travelled in silence, Shinya gradually beginning to relax his hold on himself as Die began gently massaging his shoulder, his other hand carefully guiding the car through the quiet morning streets.  
  
“Tell me he'll be alright,” he whispered, fear filling him, both for Hizumi himself and for Tsukasa who surely would have been with him and would have witnessed whatever it was that had happened.  
  
“Shinya, you know I can't say that. Not without-”  
  
“Can't you just pretend?” Shinya snapped, jerking his body away from Die.  
  
“Shin. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure he will be alright.”  
  
Shinya turned his head slowly back towards Die and saw that he wasn't lying, wasn't joking, was completely, utterly serious, and he wondered how this man could be sure he could do so much.  
  
“I promise, Shinya. I will make sure he gets everything that he needs. And not just him. Tsukasa, too.”

***

  
  
Zero watched the car speed off through the gates and down the road. He wondered what exactly it was they were off to do, but decided he didn't care. They could be leaving for what he set up, could be leaving because of some emergency, could be leaving for one of a thousand different reasons. It didn't matter.  
  
“Where do you think they're going?” Toshiya asked as he lit a cigarette.  
  
“Don't smoke in my car.”  
  
“What? _You_ -”  
  
“I said don't smoke in my car.”  
  
Toshiya huffed, but obediently stubbed his cigarette out. Zero smiled, marvelling at how willing Toshiya was to obey him. He wondered if it was because of his upbringing, because he was so eager for Zero to do a good job, or something else.  
  
“Now. Like I said, I've gotten a job in that house, so this will be the last time we can meet. From now on all our contact will be through my partner. Same number, but you'll need to ask for Karyu. And _that's_ a name it's important you don't forget. If anything goes wrong, no matter how bad it is, Karyu's the one you'll want to get hold of. There's nothing he can't fix. And that goes for the both of us.”  
  
Toshiya nodded, his eyes growing a little more alarmed at the thought that something could go wrong enough for him to need the help of someone like that.  
  
“Now, you'd better go. I'll stay here for the next couple of hours, and see if they come back. Then I'll go get ready, start my first day at work.”  
  
He pulled out a cigarette as he spoke, enjoying the look of indignation on Toshiya's face as he lit it and took a drag.

***

  
  
The car came to a stop in front of the hospital doors, Shinya leaping out before being grabbed by Die. The older man leaned back into the car, picking up his things, then turned and led Shinya into the building. Shinya merely looked at the way Die just left his car sitting there. Under different circumstances he might have wondered more, but right now he was just impatient to find his friends.  
  
“Die. This isn't the hospital.”  
  
“Yes, it is. It's just not the hospital you normally go to. This is a private one.”  
  
“Why are we here? We have to go see Hizumi!”  
  
“Hizumi _is_ here. I told them to bring him here. The surgical team have been told to expect him. _Everyone_ is waiting for him.”  
  
“What? How? How could you have known in time to divert an ambulance? How would you even be _able_ to do something like that?”  
  
“Look. There's Tsukasa.”  
  
Die pointed at a lonely figure standing in the middle of the waiting room, arms wrapped around himself..  
  
“Tsukasa!” Shinya called, breaking out into a run, coming to a stop just in front of the other man.  
  
“Shinya?” Tsukasa's eyes were puffy, his voice shaky, but he didn't seem to be crying any more.  
  
“Tsukasa, what happened? How are you? How's Hizumi? What...?” He trailed off, unsure of what to say when Tsukasa's eyes began to brim.  
  
“I – he – he saved me. And now he's going to die and it's my fault.” Despite the tears that were beginning to fall again, Tsukasa's voice was dull, emotionless. Shinya said nothing, instead wrapping his arms around Tsukasa, rubbing his hands up and down his friend's back. Together they stood, not moving, until a quiet cough caused Shinya to look up. Die stood at a distance, but he clearly wanted to say something to Shinya.  
  
“Tsukasa, I'll just be a second. I'll be back, okay?”  
  
Tsukasa nodded, not really seeing anything but whatever was playing in front of his mind's eye. Shinya walked over to Die, impatient to find out what he could.  
  
“Did you find anything out?”  
  
“Yeah. He was stabbed, and pretty badly. He's lost a lot of blood, and it wasn't a clean cut, either. It did a lot of damage. They've taken him up and they're working on getting him patched up.”  
  
“Did – is he going to be okay?”  
  
“Those surgeons are the best in the country. He's going to be fine. I promise.”  
  
The strings that had been holding Shinya up were cut, and his knees gave way. Die grabbed him as he fell, his arms tightening to hold him, pulling him close in much the same way Shinya remembered from their first encounter. All of a sudden he felt confused – this man was an enigma, someone who could be so kind, but was also capable of careless cruelty, someone who claimed to to know more of Shinya's past than Shinya himself did, someone people bowed and scraped to, someone Shinya _should_ hate, but standing there in his embrace filled Shinya with more warmth than he could ever remember feeling. Carefully he reached up, loosely returning the gesture, feeling Die's breath hitch and his arms tighten just that little bit more, and he came to the realisation that whatever else this man was, he was _good_ , and he felt the first kernels of trust beginning to grow.  
  
“You'd better get back to Tsukasa,” Die whispered, tickling the hair next to Shinya's ear. “He's going to need you soon. I'll be waiting here if you need me for anything.”  
  
Shinya found himself oddly reluctant to let go of Die. Right now everything was wrong. Everything but the feeling of being held by this man that just a few hours earlier he had been unable to stand. Shinya couldn't understand it, but he didn't care to question it, either.  
  
“Die? Can you come with us?”  
  
He said the words quietly, half hoping that Die wouldn't hear.  
  
“If you both want me there, I'll come.”  
  
Shinya nodded, pulling slightly away. He turned, and Die's hand fell down to wrap around his waist, their steps falling in synch as they walked back to Tsukasa.  
  
“Tsukasa? This is Die. If it's okay with you, he's going to wait with us.”  
  
Tsukasa looked up, and he jumped in shock.  
  
“You?!” he yelped, his eyebrows drawing down in confusion. “You're the one who found us! Shinya, he's the one who called the ambulance!”  
  
“No, I think you have me confused with someone else.”  
  
“No, I remember your hair. _No one_ has hair like that. You helped us. You're the reason Hizumi isn't lying dead out on the snow.”  
  
“Believe me, I've been at home all night.”  
  
Shinya watched the exchange, not sure what to think.  
  
“No. I _know_ you. I remember thinking that when you called the ambulance, and I get the same feeling now. Why won't you admit that you helped us? Why did you disappear as soon as the ambulance arrived?”  
  
Tsukasa looked like he was growing frustrated, especially in the face of Die's calm denial.  
  
“This isn't solving anything. We'll go to the surgical waiting room. If we're there, they'll be able to find us more easily as soon as they have news.”  
  
Shinya gave Die a quizzical look, but said nothing, instead allowing Die to lead them through the warren of corridors, up stairs, until they found the room they were looking for.  
  
“You seem to know your way through here quite well,” Shinya said quietly.  
  
“I should do. It's my hospital.”  
  
“What? How can someone own a hospital?”  
  
“I told you. It's private. And that's all you need to know for now.”  
  
The three men sat, the silence descending over them like a blanket. No one seemed willing to make a sound, to even move, until they had word from the doctors about Hizumi. Shinya lost track of how long they had been there, but it must have been hours, because the first light of the day was beginning to stream through the window. The sound of birdsong was in full flight when the doors were pushed open and a doctor walked in. Tsukasa leapt to his feet, rushing towards the white-coated man, but it was an oddly jerky rush, as though he was unsure what he should be doing.  
  
“Andou-sama!” the doctor said in surprise. “I didn't expect you to be here.”  
  
“Your patient is a close friend of my acquaintance here. You remember Shinya?”  
  
“Yes, of course I do. I'm pleased to meet you again, Shinya.”  
  
The doctor bowed, and Shinya was surprised to see that he did indeed recognise the doctor from the party he had attended his first night with Die.  
  
“Forget that! What about Hizumi?” Tsukasa snapped, the frustration and fear finally starting to bubble over. The doctor grew serious again.  
  
“Hizumi suffered a particularly serious injury. The weapon had pierced an artery, leading to massive loss of blood, and it was a more tearing type injury, rather than a sharp cut, so it was exceedingly difficult to repair the damage. That being said, he managed to hold on until we were able to get the bleeding under control, and as a result we expect him to make a full recovery.”  
  
Shinya felt the relief flood through him, and he clung to Die's arm, sure he would fall over again if he didn't. Tsukasa, however, had no such problem. He seemed to have been suddenly flooded with energy, his grin threatening to split his face in two, and he appeared to be unable to stay still, bouncing from one foot to the other.  
  
“Now before you get too excited, it will take time for him to get better. His abdominal muscles have been severely injured, and due to the loss of blood he's going to be very, very tired. It will take him time to even be able to walk without pain, and until he _is_ recovered I'd recommend that he stays away from overly strenuous activity. At least, nothing that is likely to cause him further injury. He's going to need to be looked after. To be honest, I've seen people die from less. He must have a very strong reason to want to stay here.”  
  
Shinya let go of Die and darted across to Tsukasa, the two friends hugging one another once again, but this time the relief and joy they each felt was palpable. Shinya noticed Die and the doctor speaking quietly off to one side, and the rush of affection he felt for all the red head had done threatened to sweep him away.  
  
“You know, Hizumi _does_ have a strong reason to stay here,” Shinya whispered.  
  
“He promised he wouldn't leave without me, and he didn't,” Tsukasa said, clinging even tighter to Shinya.  
  
“Tsukasa? Hizumi is still asleep, but you can see him briefly if you wish.”  
  
Tsukasa looked at Shinya, and when the blond nodded, Tsukasa turned to eagerly follow the doctor. Shinya looked at Die, walking over to him to stand right before him.  
  
“Thank you, Die. For everything you've done tonight. I can't even begin to thank you enough.”  
  
“It's fine, Shinya. Really. And if Tsukasa asks, neither of them need to worry about the hospital bill. I'll get it sorted. All they need to worry about is getting Hizumi better.”  
  
Shinya stared, open mouthed. The thought of the bill had never even occurred to him, but now that Die had mentioned it...  
  
“We can't...” he said hoarsely. “We can't take this much from you.”  
  
“It's the life of someone who is close to someone I care about. It was the absolute least I could do. I only regret that I couldn't do more.”  
  
Shinya was absolutely dumbstruck. Die looked away, his face beginning to colour, and before Shinya knew what he was doing he had stepped in, wrapping his arms tight around the older man, breathing in his scent.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to move into place now...

Shinya and Tsukasa sat side-by-side in the waiting room, both still too scared for Hizumi to go home, but not allowed to go back into his room. Die had done his best to convince Shinya to come back with him, but Shinya had refused, preferring to wait with Tsukasa.  
  
“Shinya? Who is Die?”  
  
“He's Die,” he answered with a slight shrug. “I don't know. Why?”  
  
“I know him. I've seen him before, but I don't remember where. Not as a customer. And I know it was him who was there just after Hizumi ... he called the ambulance for us. I _know_ it was him, no matter what he says.”  
  
“It can't have been him, Tsukasa. He was at his house with me.”  
  
“With you? Was he physically right there in front of you the entire time? How did he find out and get you here so quickly? As it is he must have just about flown to get you.”  
  
Shinya remained silent, thinking.  
  
 _He wasn't with me. He locked me in the room and that was the last I saw of him. But he couldn't have been following them. Could he? WHY would he?_  
  
“Hizumi said he knows who Die is. He found out. He broke into Tatsuya's room to look so we could rescue you. But he didn't tell me. He said I wouldn't believe him, and he wanted to find out if it was definitely true first. But whoever he is, I don't think you need us to protect you. I think he's the one protecting you. He saved Hizumi. He saved both of us.”  
  
Tsukasa fell silent, looking at his clasped hands.  
  
“But I still don't think I can trust someone who refuses to tell me anything about himself,” Shinya said slowly. His own feelings about Die were growing ever more confused, flying from one extreme to the other. “I don't think I can trust someone who doesn't even seem to know what he wants. And in any case, he's just a customer. Once his time has run out, that's probably the last I'll see of him.”  
  
“Unless he wants to keep you.”  
  
“And why would he want to do that?”  
  
“I saw the way he looked at you, Shinya. He didn't look at you like a customer looks at a whore.”  
  
Shinya looked at the floor, Die's words from earlier echoing through his head.  
  
 _...someone I care about..._  
  
“...but why? _Why_ does he care about me? He doesn't even _know_ me,” he whispered, shoulders slumping.  
  
“Maybe he does. Maybe he knows you from before you were sold. Maybe he finally found you.”  
  
“He showed me a house. He said it was where I'd grown up. He said my father did kill himself, but the rest about my mother selling me was a lie. He said she was sick, and before she died she gave me to Tatsuya, thinking he was running an orphanage.”  
  
Tsukasa stared at Shinya, his mouth dropping open.  
  
“Shinya, you have to stay with him if you can. You have to take that chance to get away from Tatsuya.”  
  
“I can't, Tsukasa! How could I leave you and Hizumi there? How could I live with myself if I just abandoned you two?”  
  
“We'll be fine. I doubt Tatsuya is going to be taking us back for a while, anyway. Maybe we can try and get something for ourselves before we're forced to go back to him.”  
  
Shinya opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by the door opening. A nurse entered and smiled warmly at the two of them.  
  
“Hizumi is starting to wake up now. You may go in one at a time, if you wish to see him.”  
  
Tsukasa looked at Shinya with eyes wide open, the question clearly visible on his face. Shinya nodded, and the other man's face lit up. He all but leapt out of his seat, almost crashing into the nurse as he followed her out of the room. Shinya watched him as he left.  
  
“I'll help you out of there. I'll help both of you.”

***

  
  
“Nobutada, was it?”  
  
“Nobuya, Andou-sama.”  
  
Zero bowed low before Die, masking a grimace at having to do so, though he was pleased that Die seemed to be as inattentive to his surroundings as he had been told.  
  
“Ah yes, Nobuya. My apologies. How are you finding your first day of work here?”  
  
“I'm enjoying it already, Andou-sama. Kyo-sama has been teaching me a lot.”  
  
“I'm glad to hear that. I don't want you to learn too much from Kyo, though. He has altogether too many bad habits for my liking.”  
  
Zero took note of the way Die acted while talking about Kyo. Though the words could be interpreted as harsh, the smile as they were spoken was anything but. It was quite clear already that Die and Kyo were friends before they were employer and employee. Zero decided that he had better be careful while trying to use Kyo – pushing him too hard, or the wrong way, could have less than satisfactory results. And he wouldn't like to have to get Karyu to help him out. That wouldn't do at all.  
  
“I shall certainly try to remember that, Andou-sama.”  
  
“Good. Well, if there are any problems, please ask either Kyo or myself.”  
  
“And your brother?”  
  
“Brother?”  
  
“The young blond man who is also staying here. I assumed he was your brother or some close relation.”  
  
“Shinya? No. No, he's not my brother. No relation at all in fact.”  
  
“Really? But you seemed so close. My apologies.”  
  
Zero bowed once more, turning and heading back towards the kitchen. He could feel Die's eyes on his back, and for a fleeting moment he worried that perhaps he had underestimated the red head, but then the floor creaked as the other man walked off, and Zero smiled. He gave it a few seconds then turned again, this time following Die, keeping a careful distance. He followed him to the other end of the house before Die entered a room, closing the door behind him. Zero looked around, ensuring that he was alone, making sure than should anyone come walking down he could make it look as though he was supposed to be here, then leaned against the door, straining to hear what was going on. To his relief it seemed that his guess was right, and Die indeed _was_ on the phone.  
  
“That'd be great. Thanks, Kyo. You can fill me in later on. Bye.”  
  
There was the brief click of the phone being hung up, and a sigh. Zero wondered if he had missed all that was going to happen, but again, he was not disappointed. There was a brief rustling as though of papers being searched, then the creak of a chair.  
  
“Kaoru? Yeah, I got him. No, of course not.”

There was a pause, and Die sighed.  
  
“I tried. Believe me, I tried. What are you talking about?”  
  
There was a bang, and a muttered curse from Die.  
  
“He did _what_? I'll fucking...”  
  
Zero wondered what he wouldn't give to find out what was being said on the other side of the conversation, and decided it wasn't a lot. First thing he was going to do once he finished work was call Karyu and get him to find out who this Kaoru was. He wondered briefly if it could be – no. There was no way it would be _him_.  
  
“Fine, I'll calm down. You can deal with it, can't you? Thanks, Kao. I mean it. Thank you. So I'll see you later, yeah? Great. See you then.”  
  
The chair creaked again, and Zero decided against pushing his luck any further. He straightened up, making his way down the hallway as fast as he could. He didn't even notice the door open quietly, didn't notice Die poking his head out of the doorway to gaze after him, his expression carefully blank.

***

  
  
“So. How is he?”  
  
“He's so pale. And weak. But he was _so_ happy that Tsukasa was okay. So I think he's going to be fine. At least, while he's away from Tatsuya he'll be fine.”  
  
Die stood at the entrance to Shinya's room, leaning on the door frame as Shinya sat on the edge of the bed. He had sent a driver to pick Shinya up, and had expressed surprise upon finding out Shinya had apparently offered no resistance.  
  
“You going to go see him tomorrow?”  
  
“Yeah. Tsukasa is going to stay there. I'm going to assume they don't normally let people stay there that aren't actually sick, do they? Did you arrange to let Tsukasa be there?”  
  
Die shrugged.  
  
“It seemed the best thing to do. Sending Tsukasa back to that place wouldn't have been the best, and from what I saw making him leave Hizumi at all would have been even worse. For both of them.”  
  
“Die, why did you say you care for me?”  
  
Shinya looked away as he asked that, for some reason unwilling to see Die's face when he answered.  
  
“Because it's true. I _do_ care for you.”  
  
“But why? How? You don't even know me. If it hadn't been for the fact that you were there when I fell over...”  
  
“I know you, Shinya. I feel like I've always known you. I _have_ always known you, though you haven't always known me. I know that doesn't make much sense right now, but believe me, if you give me a chance, it will. You'll see.”  
  
Shinya risked a glance at Die, only to find the other man also looking away, his cheeks growing slightly red again. He finally reached a decision.  
  
“I want to understand. I want it to make sense.”  
  
“I can't explain it right now, but-”  
  
“No, I don't want you to. I want to find out. I don't care how long it takes. I want to stay here with you. I want you to be there with me while I take care of Tsukasa and Hizumi.”  
  
Die stood up and stared at Shinya with a guarded expression.  
  
“You want to stay with me?” he whispered. Shinya could see the guarded hope Die was trying and failing to keep from showing in his eyes.  
  
“Yes. I do.”  
  
Before he knew what had happened Die was in front of him, kneeling, his arms thrown around Shinya.  
  
“I'm so glad. I'll make the arrangements to get you out of that place. And you don't need to worry about Hizumi and Tsukasa. They can stay here until they get themselves sorted. I can help them with that.”  
  
Shinya returned the hug, hesitantly at first, then tightening his grip.  
  
“A friend of mine is coming around tonight. He can help, too. We can fill him in, then when Hizumi is better, we can introduce them all.”  
  
Shinya leaned forward, curling around Die so their heads rested against each other. Conflicting emotions were threatening to tear him in two. He was so relieved that finally they would all be safe, would have someone who believed in them and would help them. But...  
  
“Shinya? Why are you crying? You're all going to be fine now.”  
  
Shinya shook his head. How could he tell Die that he was crying out of guilt? How could he use someone like this, take what he wanted from Die when he knew he was lying to get it?

***

  
  
“Karyu? Can you do me a favour? Tonight. It's pretty urgent.”  
  
“Why am I not surprised that you want something? Do you _ever_ call unless you want something? I'm so hurt, Zero. You make a man feel so used and worthless.”  
  
“You know I love you. You're the best partner someone could ever have.”  
  
“Why do I not believe you? Anyway, who do you want me to find out about this time.”  
  
“What makes you think I want you to find out about someone?”  
  
“It's what I do. It's what _you_ do. Now hurry up. I'm busy.”  
  
“Guy or girl?”  
  
“What does it matter to you, Zero?”  
  
“Right. That hurts, Karyu. I just told you I love you.”  
  
“Yeah, okay. You're getting progressively weirder, you know that, right?”  
  
“You know you love it.”  
  
“Anyway, can we get on with it? Who do you want me to find out about?”  
  
Zero huffed. Karyu was absolutely no fun when he thought there was the potential for a lay.  
  
“I only have one name. Kaoru. Whoever it is, they seem to be a fairly good friend of Andou's. Find out what you can.”  
  
“Kaoru?” He paused, the same thought that had struck Zero obviously occurring to him as well. “Right. Do you think Hara will be able to help?”  
  
“Should be able to. Start with him, and if that doesn't work ... I don't know. Kill him for all I care.”  
  
“Now Zero. We won't get paid if I do that. We have to wait 'til _after_ we get paid to do stuff like that, remember?”  
  
“Good point. Anyway, find out what you can. I'll call you tomorrow for an update.”  
  
“Not a problem. Can I get back to what I was doing?”  
  
“Yeah, fine. But tell me ... is he hot?”  
  
“Goodbye, Zero.”

***

  
  
Kaoru wandered up the driveway, hands shoved in his pockets. He pulled out his keys to open the door, then had another idea. He darted off around the side of the house, making his way to the so-called 'workers entrance'. Carefully, as quietly as he could, he unlocked the door, opened it just enough to squeeze through, then clicked it shut behind him. He spied his target sitting at the kitchen table, a thin line of smoke drifting upwards. Slowly, silently, he made his way forwards until he was at the target's back.  
  
“HOW ARE YOU, KYO?” he yelled, jumping back as the small body flew first up, then around with fists flying.  
  
“Fucking hell, Kaoru! You bastard! Can't you see I'm reading? Why the hell do you enjoy tormenting me so much?”  
  
“Because you're such an easy target? Because your reactions never fail to have me in stitches?” Kaoru laughed, wiping tears away from the corners of his eyes.  
  
“Yeah? Well one day it's going to be _literal_ stitches. You're just lucky I didn't have a knife in my hand,” Kyo scowled, but his face began to soften almost immediately. “What brings you here, anyway?”  
  
“Die called. I hear he found Shinya.”  
  
“Yeah, he did. Fuck, what a nightmare. Shinya's had one hell of a head-trip done on him. It's been hell pretending I don't know who he is.”  
  
“I bet. I'm sorry, Kyo.”  
  
Kyo shrugged.  
  
“It's not your fault. But you can imagine what Die's been like. He's gone all...”  
  
“Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde?”  
  
“Yeah, that's pretty much it. Especially with Shinya. One second he's all smiles, the next it's like he's taking out all his frustration on him. Which of course he then gets guilty about, and it's all turning into one huge fucking mess. And just to top it all off, one of Shinya's friends from his 'work'” - Kyo almost spat the word - “got attacked last night. Take a guess as to how Die found out about it. And so now everything is even worse, though thankfully I've managed to avoid the worst of it.”  
  
“So I heard. And that's where I come in.”  
  
Kyo shrugged. “So it would seem.”  
  
“Right. Well, I suppose I'd better go up and see him. Do you know where he is?”  
  
“He'll either be in Shinya's room, or in his own room, keeping guard.”  
  
“Which one did he put Shinya in?”  
  
“Take a guess.”  
  
“The one opposite his own?”  
  
“Got it in one.”  
  
“Shit. That's going to make things difficult.”  
  
“Tell me about it.”  
  
“How's your job going?”  
  
Kyo wrinkled his nose before answering.  
  
“Interesting. It would seem that you were right about Toshiya.”  
  
“Didn't I tell you? And what lesson did you learn today?”  
  
“I have no idea what you're talking about,” Kyo said dryly.  
  
“Repeat after me: Kaoru is always right.”  
  
“I'll never repeat that.”  
  
“One day you will. Anyway. Up to see Die, I think. Wish me luck.”  
  
“Good luck. You'll need it.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
Kaoru gave a quick wave as Kyo sat back down at the table after making sure the door was firmly bolted. He wondered what it was going to be like seeing Shinya again. It had been so long, and he was bound to have changed. From what he had heard, he _had_ changed. More than any of them had expected. It was going to be hard pretending.  
  
“But if Kyo can do it, so can I,” he whispered, taking a breath before making his way up the stairs.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Kaoru pushed open the door to Die's room, letting himself in. It was probably rude to just wander into someone's bedroom, but it was _Die._ In any case, he had heard the murmurs coming from the other room and knew Die and Shinya were talking, knew that Die wouldn't want to be disturbed just yet. He fought down the urge to look in and see what Shinya looked like now.  
  
_God, it's been so many years since we've seen him. I don't know how Die can stand it._  
  
He gave Die a few more minutes, sitting on a corner of the bed, before pulling out his cell phone to send him a message. It only took Die a few seconds to enter the room, pulling the door closed behind him.  
  
“It's okay. He's off having a bath. He'll be a while.”  
  
“Kyo tells me you've been acting all weird around him.”  
  
“Kyo can shut his mouth.”  
  
“He worries about you, you know. So do I.”  
  
Die remained quiet, sitting next to Kaoru on the bed and resting his head on his friend's shoulder.  
  
“I can't believe I finally found him. I'd given up. And then there he was.”  
  
“How is he? Kyo said that he's had a bit of a head trip done on him.”  
  
“He has. He has no idea who I am. He thinks I'm just some customer who took a liking to him.”  
  
“What's he like now?”  
  
“He's Shinya. Despite everything, he's still Shinya. Kao, someone tried to kill his friends.”  
  
“I know. Any luck finding anything out yet?”  
  
“Not yet. It looked like some drunk, but ... I don't think that was it. The guy ran off too fast, too, too – I don't know, too _something_ , for him to have really been drunk. It all seemed too convenient. They were targeted, I know that. Though I don't think it was really his friends that were the target.”  
  
“You think they were after Shinya.”  
  
“I think they were after both of us.”  
  
“So why his friends?”  
  
“You remember what Shinya was like. He's still like that.”  
  
“Fuck. Right. I'll get onto it. How is he?”  
  
“He's fine, now that he's found out that Hizumi will be alright. Hizumi's the one who was attacked. He was at the hospital all night, up until just before I called you. That's why he's gone off to have a bath. I hope he doesn't fall asleep in it.”  
  
Die trailed off, his head lifting as he gazed in the direction of the bathroom. There was something in Die's face that made everything fall into place for Kaoru.  
  
“Die, this isn't just about finding Shinya any more, is it?”  
  
“What? What are you talking about? Of course it is,” Die said, looking confused.  
  
“You love him.”  
  
“I've always loved him, Kaoru.”  
  
“But before it was like the way you love me, or Kyo. But now it's different. You're _in_ love.”  
  
“What if I was? What would it have to do with you? Or anything?”  
  
“It's only fair that we know what we're dealing with, Die. Are you? Are you two...”  
  
“No, we aren't. Like I said ... as far as Shinya's concerned I'm just another customer.”  
  
Kaoru couldn't help but feel for Die. He could see the pain in his expression, hear it in his voice, but still he tried to hide it.  
  
“Die. You can tell me.”  
  
“No, I can't. That would make it real.”  
  
Die snapped his mouth closed leaned forward, almost as if he was caving in on himself. Kaoru remained still, knowing that Die didn't want his sympathy, even though every muscle in his body itched to comfort him.  
  
“He's staying, though. He said he wants to stay and find out about his past.”  
  
Kaoru couldn't help but smile in delight.  
  
“It means I have to go and talk to that fucking bastard again though. God, I don't know if I can keep from beating the shit out of him. It was hard enough when I went to go and get Shinya in the first place.”  
  
“When are you going to go?”  
  
“I don't know. Sooner would be better, I suppose. And I can arrange for Shinya's friends to come, too. God knows how I'm going to manage that.”  
  
“Let's go now.”  
  
“What?” Die looked at Kaoru in confusion. “We can't go now.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
“Because ... ” Die trailed off, unsure of what to say.  
  
“There's no reason we shouldn't go now. And it would be better if you had someone go with you. I can help you. Shinya's in the bath. We'll get Kyo to keep an eye on him, and if we aren't back by the time he gets out, Kyo can just make sure he eats well.”  
  
Die looked at Kaoru for a second, then nodded.

***

  
  
“This is it?” Kaoru asked, surprise coursing through him. The place was _huge_. Huge, and beautiful, even if it occasionally veered into tacky territory. It was an enormous mansion, the lawns immaculate, the fountain out the front sparkling with perfectly clear water. There were statues dotted around, all in perfect condition without so much as a chip showing.  
  
“ _This_ place is a whore-house?” Kaoru asked in disbelief. “It's almost as big as your place!”  
  
“Just wait until you get inside. Then your expectations will be met,” Die said sourly, and suddenly Kaoru wasn't too sure he wanted to see what was inside. The two friends made their way up the long driveway, Die alternating between dragging his feet and almost seeming as though he wanted to run to the door. Before they made it that far though, a short, somewhat pudgy man opened the door and began beaming at them.  
  
“Welcome, gentlemen! What can we – oh! Andou-sama! What a pleasant surprise! What can I help you with today? I take it you are pleased with the performance of the boy you bought? He's a rather popular one, Shinya. He does his job well.”  
  
Kaoru felt Die tense up next to him, saw his fists begin to clench, and surreptitiously grabbed his arm. Die stopped, and thankfully the man Kaoru took to be Tatsuya didn't seem to notice.  
  
“Yes, thank you, Tatsuya-san,” Kaoru answered, not trusting Die to speak right now. “In fact, Daisuke is so pleased with Shinya that he would like to buy him off you. Permanently.”  
  
Tatsuya's eyes widened.  
  
“Oh, I'm sorry, Andou-sama. We don't sell our boys off. They remain our property, and are only for rent. I know we use the term 'buy', but that's not quite accurate.”  
  
“How about we go inside and discuss this, Tatsuya-san?”  
  
The little man nodded, and lead them into the house. Throughout the exchange Die had remained silent, but he could feel how much it was taking Die to keep himself under control. He kept an eye on Die, but once they entered the house it was like he became a different person. His head dropped and he kept his eyes trained on the floor, his hair falling forward. Kaoru looked up, and suddenly understood why Die had been so reluctant to come here. The hallway itself had been fairly innocuous, but the room they had been lead in to was anything but. Photos lined the walls, all of the boys who worked there in various sexual positions. Kaoru was far from a prude, but even he felt profoundly uncomfortable. He noticed that the person with each boy seemed to be the same one. Though the face of the 'customer' was never shown, the slightly hairy, pudgy body told him all he needed to know about who it was. He turned his head, only to see a photo, slightly larger than the others, the boy pictured staring into the camera through half lidded eyes, bent over a table as the other man pushed him down. Even though he was older, even with his hair being longer, blonder than he remembered, Kaoru knew exactly who it was. Anger surged through him, and he gritted his teeth, his eyes shooting back towards Die who was keeping his gaze fixed firmly to the floor.  
  
“Please, take a seat,” Tatsuya said almost jovially as he gestured towards some chairs. “I really don't know how you think you're going to convince me, though.”  
  
“I want Shinya. And I want Hizumi and Tsukasa, too.” Die said quietly, lifting his eyes to look directly at Tatsuya.  
  
“I understand that you're probably very used to getting what you want, Andou-sama, but – and I say this with the greatest possible respect – your word holds no sway here. Things don't work like that in this world. In this world, _my_ word is law. And I say they aren't for sale.”  
  
Kaoru saw Die's jaw tighten, saw him about to jump out of his seat, saw his eyes flick over to the photo of Shinya, and decided that perhaps he had better take over.  
  
“Daisuke-sama?” he said, standing at the same time Die did, planting himself firmly in front of the red head. “Maybe you feel like a cigarette? My apologies. I seem to have left the lighter in the car though.”  
  
“I'll go and get it then.” Die forced the words out through gritted teeth, shooting a murderous look at Tatsuya before spinning on his heel and exiting the room. Tatsuya watched Die leave with an incredulous look on his face, then turned to Kaoru.  
  
“Interesting one, isn't he? I take it he's not used to being told 'no'. Though I'm rather surprised that he didn't just send you to go and get his lighter. After all, that _is_ the servant's job.”  
  
“Die's situation is a rather complicated one, I'm afraid to say. He's had one or two issues to deal with.”  
  
“That may be so, but as I said, things don't work like he's used to in this world.”  
  
“I think I may know a thing or two about your world, Tatsuya-san.” Kaoru turned, swallowing his disgust so he could examine the photos on the wall. “In fact, I may even know more than you do. Perhaps you've heard the name Kaoru Niikura?” He turned again, wanting to see Tatsuya's reaction.  
  
_So. You know that much at least,_ he thought, the first bit of pleasure he had felt since arriving here enabling a small smile. Tatsuya's mouth dropped open, every last bit of his previous self-importance fleeing and leaving just another small, worthless excuse for a human.  
  
“Oh, my apologies, Tatsuya-san. I see I _did_ neglect to introduce myself. Now. Die is a rather naïve man in some respects, and he honestly would have no idea why my name would cause such a reaction in you. I would appreciate it if you could regain your composure by the time he returns.”  
  
Tatsuya nodded, his whole body visibly shaking, and Kaoru was filled with disgust at the sight. That someone who could treat people the way he treated them here could be reduced to this quivering wreck just by _hearing_ Kaoru's name ... disgust didn't even _begin_ to describe it.  
  
“And now that we have that taken care of, I believe it is time to discuss the terms. Die would like Shinya, Hizumi and Tsukasa. I personally see no reason why he should not have them. Hizumi, as you may or may not be aware, will not be able to work for some time. From what I hear, that means Tsukasa won't be able to, either. So it really won't be a great loss to you. In fact, it would be a gain, since Daisuke is also an honest man, despite the filth he finds himself dealing with from time to time, and so he will most certainly reimburse you no matter how vile the entire concept of trading humans for money is.”  
  
Kaoru returned to his seat, leaning back in the armchair which, as it turned out, was more than comfortable.  
  
“Now, you may name your price. I have no problem with that. However, if Die decides he wants to ... negotiate ... then that is exactly what you will do. That I will leave up to you two. Provided you behave, I shall continue to sit quietly here in my seat, as I was before, and simply observe matters. How does that sound?”  
  
Tatsuya nodded again, obviously trying to calm himself down. Kaoru smiled again and fell silent, waiting patiently for Die to return. He was intrigued by the way Tatsuya would seem to become his previous self, only to have it all crumble again when his eyes would dart across the room and see Kaoru sitting and smiling. Eventually Die returned, smelling strongly of the suggested cigarettes, and he sat next to Kaoru, once more keeping his eyes well away from the photos of Shinya.  
  
“I'm going to ask you again, Tatsuya-san. I would like to have Shinya, Hizumi and Tsukasa. I'm willing to negotiate.”  
  
Kaoru noticed how strained Die's voice was, and wished that he could do something more overt to help him. He looked back at Tatsuya and nodded, willing the little fool to hurry up so he could get Die away from this place.  
  
“A hundred million yen. Each.”  
  
Kaoru raised his eyebrows, surprised that Tatsuya had the balls to demand such a vast sum of money.  
  
“Fine.”  
  
“Die,” Kaoru said hurriedly, “I'm sure you can talk him down from that. You did say you were willing to negotiate.”  
  
“It's Shinya, Kaoru. He's not some piece of meat to be haggled over, no matter what this man says.”  
  
Kaoru turned back to Tatsuya, rage boiling through his veins.  
  
“Die will give you one million yen total. You will give us every thing that involves them so we can burn it. And that includes all this,” Kaoru gestured towards the photos, “Once this is done, all contact between you, the three of them, and Die will be severed.” He deliberately did not mention his own name. He wanted nothing more than to choke this … this _thing_ that called itself a man with his bare hands. He knew Tatsuya knew it, because his face grew white and he stammered out an agreement. Die rose, giving Kaoru an odd look, and left the room. Kaoru followed, bowing slightly to Tatsuya.  
  
“We will arrange payment within the next few days. Thank you for your cooperation, Tatsuya-san,” he said calmly, as though nothing untoward had happened. He turned again and followed Die back to the car without a backward glance.

 

***

  
  
“Kyo? Where did Die go?”  
  
Shinya looked up as Kyo entered his room bearing food.  
  
“Yeah, not a problem. I don't mind bringing you your dinner. No need to thank me.” Kyo grinned as he spoke, letting Shinya know that he wasn't serious. “But I don't know, I'm sorry. He left with Kaoru. Have you met him yet?”  
  
Shinya shook his head, looking longingly at the food on the tray.  
  
“You'll like him. Even if he is a bit of a bastard at times. Here. Eat. I'll leave you alone for a while.”  
  
“Kyo...”  
  
Kyo stopped and looked back. Shinya wasn't sure why, but it was important to him that someone be here if Die wasn't. And Kyo was nice enough – a little weird at times, but something about him seemed familiar and comforting. And it felt good, having someone who was close to Die nearby.  
  
“Um. You can stay. I don't mind. You can share my food.”  
  
“No, that's okay. I have my own dinner waiting for me in the kitchen.”  
  
“Oh. Um. Well ... would it be okay with you if I brought my food down to the kitchen and ate with you?”  
  
“What? After I went to all the effort of bringing it up here?”  
  
Shinya smiled and stood, grabbing the tray.  
  
“Good. I'll follow you then, okay?”  
  
Kyo grinned again, and Shinya felt himself calming down. It had been somewhat disconcerting to get out of his bath and find that Die had disappeared again. He didn't know why exactly – it wasn't like the man had never done that before. But somehow Shinya had hoped that maybe he would be a little more attentive, now that Shinya had said he wanted to stay with him. Not that that was the proper way to be thinking of a customer. Even though he wouldn't be going back to Tatsuya, he knew that's what he still was. It was no more than he deserved for using Die the way he was.

He followed Kyo down to the kitchen, carefully placing his tray down on the great wooden table that stood in the centre of the room. He waited for Kyo to bring his own food over before lifting the cover off and picking up his chopsticks. They ate in silence for the first few minutes, before Shinya could hold his questions in no longer.  
  
“Kyo, do you know why Die wants me here?”  
  
“You'd have to ask Die that, Shinya. I'm just his chef.”

 Shinya gave him a flat look, but didn't call him out on the clear lie.

 “But he said he knows me. He's said things about my past ... I don't know if they're true. But if they are ... how does he know? Does he really know me? It's not fair that someone could know more about me than I do.”  
  
Kyo looked at Shinya, but didn't answer. Shinya was vaguely disappointed. Part of him had been sure that Kyo would know. He opened his mouth to ask another question when he heard loud footsteps coming down the stairs. He turned to see who it was, only to be disappointed when the person didn't have bright red hair.  
  
“Nobuya. You took your time. You're going to have to get quicker at checking the rooms at night. Anyone would think you've been listening at keyholes.”  
  
“My apologies, Kyo-san. I just wanted to make sure I got everything locked up.”  
  
The man Kyo had referred to as Nobuya bowed low. Shinya looked at the thoughtful gaze Kyo was giving the other man.  
  
“No matter. You had a phone call not long ago. A man named Karyu. Said it was urgent, and he couldn't get you on your cellphone. Which I'm glad to hear. Don't want you taking personal phone calls when you're supposed to be working.”  
  
“Thank you, Kyo-san. Is it alright to use a phone here?”  
  
Kyo nodded, and pointed into the corner.  
  
“You can use the kitchen phone.”  
  
Nobuya bowed again and made his way to the phone. Shinya watched him, then turned back to Kyo.  
  
“Kyo? How long have you known Die?”  
  
“Known Die? Since pretty much forever. Ever since I was a very small kid, anyway.”  
  
“So if Die did know me when I was younger, you would have as well, right?”  
  
“Maybe. Who knows, really.”  
  
Shinya looked at Kyo, and realised he wasn't really listening. His eyes were firmly fixed on Nobuya who was hunched over the phone, whispering furiously. He watched Kyo for a while longer, then finished his dinner before getting up and excusing himself. Kyo gave him a quick glance and smile, then returned to his study of Nobuya. Shinya felt an enormous loneliness settle over him, and he didn't understand at all why. He got to his room, sitting on the edge of the bed before falling backwards and closing his eyes. Exhaustion overtook him, and before he knew what was what he felt himself being shaken gently. His eyes fluttered open to find Die sitting on the bed next to him.  
  
“Shinya? Wake up.”  
  
“I'm awake.” Shinya mumbled, screwing his face up before yawning. His neck was beginning to ache from having been sleeping awkwardly, and he shifted to make himself more comfortable, only half realising that he had just put his head onto Die's lap. There was stillness for a moment, then Die shifted a little and began stroking Shinya's hair. Shinya's eyes snapped open, the memory of the dream he had had only days earlier returning to him. He felt his body stiffen and willed it to relax, refusing to let the situation affect him.  
  
“Shin? I have good news. I spoke to Tatsuya today. He's agreed to let you go. All of you. As soon as Hizumi is well enough to leave the hospital, I'll move him in here.”  
  
Shinya sat up, the last traces of sleep leaving him.  
  
“Are you serious? How? Why? No, it doesn't matter. Thank you, Die.” Shinya flung his arms around Die, holding him tight. Die's arms lifted, one hand caressing his back while the other stroked the back of Shinya's head. Shinya had no idea how long they sat like that, one clinging while the other just held, but eventually he pulled himself away.  
  
“I mean it Die. Thank you so much. I can't – I have no idea how I can thank you enough.”  
  
He stared into Die's eyes for a moment, before deciding. He leaned forward, pressing his lips gently against Die's.

 


	11. Chapter 11

Shinya leaned into Die, pressing their bodies together, letting out a soft moan as he parted his lips, inviting Die to deepen the kiss. Die accepted the invitation, his tongue darting out to meet Shinya's, his arms wrapping around the blond as he let out a soft, answering moan. Shinya began to grow light-headed and suddenly his dreams, his longing to be near _anyone_ who was close to Die made sense, butterflies thundering through his stomach when he thought of what Die must have had to do to free not just him but Hizumi and Tsukasa from Tatsuya. He pressed even closer, his body responding to the contact with more sincerity than it ever had. He broke the kiss, tipping his head back as Die began feverishly kissing his neck.  
  
“Mmm ... Die ...”  
  
Without warning the kisses stopped and Die pushed him away, the sudden loss of contact feeling to Shinya as though something physical had snapped.  
  
“Oh god, I'm so sorry, Shinya. I shouldn't have...”  
  
“Die! Don't apologise. I _want_ this.”  
  
“Shinya, you don't have to act like this any more. You don't have to do things out of gratitude, or whatever it is.”  
  
Shinya felt a flare of anger, but the look of barely contained misery on Die's face quickly quenched those flames.  
  
“Die ... I'm not. I mean, maybe even yesterday it would have been that, but now...”  
  
Die looked at Shinya, making the blond painfully aware of the fact that he had no idea what was going on, had no idea _why_ he had suddenly come to this realisation and knew perfectly well that if Die pressed him on it he had no chance of being able to explain it. Still Die continued to just look at Shinya, and he felt he had to fill the silence.  
  
“What I mean is ... I don't know. I don't know _what_ I mean. But I like you, Die. More than I thought I would. More than I _should_ , and I don't think I can stop. I'm not saying I'm in love with you or anything, I mean we barely know each other, but ... if it makes you uncomfortable, I'll go.”  
  
“You think I'd throw you out now that I've finally found you? Now that I've gotten you away from that miserable excuse for a human?”  
  
Die smiled - a faint smile, but a smile all the same. Relief flooded through Shinya, and he began to feel slightly giddy again.  
  
“What do you mean, now that you've finally found me?”  
  
Die sighed.  
  
“I want to show you something. Wait here, I'll be back.”  
  
Die got up and left the room. Shinya pulled the blanket up and around himself, noticing the way the temperature seemed to drop when Die left. He lifted a hand to his lips, wondering what on earth had possessed him to kiss Die like that. The feeling of overwhelming need crashed over him again, and he closed his eyes, feeling as though it was going to wash him away, then without warning it left, leaving him filled with a strange emptiness he had never felt before. He pulled his legs up, resting his chin on his knees and watching the door for Die's return, wondering what in the hell he was doing, feeling like this.

***

  
  
Tsukasa sat at Hizumi's bed, watching the other man as he rested, hurt and weak but _alive_. He had barely left his side since he had been allowed back in, leaving only to find things for when Hizumi was awake.  
  
“So what's happening with Shinya?” Hizumi asked. He was sitting up now, but that terrifying paleness had yet to leave, and he was so easily tired.  
  
“He's gone back to that Die guy's place. I think he should stay there. I know that that guy will try to do what he can to get Tatsuya to let him go.”  
  
“Really? What makes you say that?”  
  
“You should see the way he looks at Shinya. Shinya doesn't notice it, but ... well, it's obvious what's going on with Die.”

Hizumi gave a small smile. He turned to look out the window, then looked back at Tsukasa.  
  
“How did you get me here? Why are we in a place like this instead of the city hospital?”  
  
“I think it was that Die guy again. Someone came running as soon as you fell, like he'd seen what had happened, and called an ambulance. He said something to them, and they brought us here. He says it wasn't him, but I'm sure it was. There aren't that many people who look like that in Tokyo. And I'm sure I know him. I've seen him somewhere before. But it was definitely him. I don't think he wants Shinya to know. He kept looking at him before he said I must have him confused with someone else. I wonder why...”  
  
Tsukasa trailed off, looking out of the window with a thoughtful expression. Hizumi smiled at the way Tsukasa could sound so innocent, especially when he was trying to play detective. He opened his mouth to tell Tsukasa what he thought about Die, then changed his mind. He still hadn't _seen_ the man yet, so it was still possible that he was wrong.  
  
 _Once I've seen him though, I'll know. Then I'll know what to think about Shinya being there._  
  
They sat in silence, Tsukasa still staring out the window while Hizumi watched him. He wondered, for what was far from the first time, what it would take to get Tsukasa to notice him, to see him as anything more than just a friend. In some ways in made him laugh, that he could still think about such things even in his current condition.  
  
“Hizumi?”  
  
Tsukasa stayed the way he was, still looking out the window, but Hizumi could tell that all his attention was directed towards him.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
Hizumi suddenly felt incredibly uneasy, his palms beginning to sweat. Something in the set of Tsukasa's shoulders scared Hizumi, and he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to hear what the other man had to say.  
  
“I – you ... thank you.”  
  
Hizumi's mouth dropped open in surprise.  
  
“Thank you? What did I do? Apart from manage to get myself stabbed, I mean.”  
  
“For not leaving me. For staying with me.”  
  
Tsukasa turned, and Hizumi saw that Tsukasa's eyes were wet, tears barely held back. He stood, walking over to sit on the edge of the bed, gripping Hizumi's hand.  
  
“I can't live without you, Hizumi. When I thought you were going to – I nearly died. The doctor said you must have had something you wanted to live for.”  
  
Hizumi squeezed Tsukasa's hand before letting it go to reach up, one finger gently brushing away a tear.  
  
“I do. You.”  
  
He pressed his hand against Tsukasa's face, turning the other man until they were facing each other properly.  
  
“I live for you. Everything I do is for you. Everything I've _ever_ done has been for you. I love you, Tsukasa. I'm _in_ love with you.”  
  
Tsukasa blinked, his mouth opening then closing.  
  
“I – I ...” Tsukasa stammered, standing up. “I have to go.”  
  
“Tsukasa!” Hizumi called, reaching his hand out as the other man fled the room. He watched the door swing shut, heard the footsteps as they ran further away from him, and wondered how he could have read Tsukasa so badly.

***

  
  
Kyo made his way along the corridor, barely able to keep from breaking into a run. He was vaguely aware of voices behind him, but he really didn't care about that. He lengthened his stride, hoping he was going to be in time. A hand shot out and grabbed his arm, swinging him around. A man in a white coat clung to him, anger on his face.  
  
“You cannot come here, Nishimura-san. This area is strictly off limits to people who don't have family to visit.”  
  
“I don't care. I'm getting them, and that is final.”  
  
“You cannot do that!”  
  
“I can, and I will. If you have a problem with that, speak to Die. He'll tell you. Now I suggest you let go of my arm, and I suggest you do it _now_.” Kyo hissed, yanking his arm free. He turned away from the stunned looking doctor and resumed his search, peering at every name card on every door until he found what he was looking for. He burst into the room, the other man's shock obvious.  
  
“You're Hizumi?” Kyo snapped, staring at the man in the bed.  
  
“Y-yes. Who are-”  
  
“Where's Tsukasa?”  
  
A look of pain flashed briefly across Hizumi's face.  
  
“He left. I don't know where he is.”  
  
“Shit,” said Kyo, walking around the room, pulling a plastic bag out of a drawer and filling it with Hizumi's meagre belongings.  
  
“Get out of bed. We're going.”  
  
“What? Going where?”  
  
“That doesn't matter. We're going. _Now_.” Kyo finished filling the bag and moved to the side of Hizumi's bed, helping the man out.  
  
“Who are you? Where are we going? Why should I trust you?”  
  
“You trust me because I work for Die. And Die is working to protect Shinya and those around him. Now if you don't move your ass, you're going to be in even more shit than you already are. Come on. We'll find Tsukasa on the way out.”  
  
“I don't think he's here. I think he left.”  
  
“For fuck's sake!” Kyo swore, looping his arm around Hizumi, practically dragging the injured man out of the room.  
  
“What the hell is going on?”  
  
“You weren't stabbed by some random drunk like Tsukasa thought. It was planned, though you weren't the initial target. Tsukasa was, but they didn't really care which one of you was killed. You aren't safe here, so I'm taking you somewhere you _will_ be. Tsukasa too, if we can find him.”  
  
“I'm not leaving without him.”  
  
“I don't think you have much say in the matter. Look at you. You can barely walk.”  
  
“I'm not leaving without him.”  
  
“Yes, you are.”

***

  
  
“What have you found out?” Zero asked, getting into his car as he left for the day, phone pressed to his ear.  
  
“You're gonna love this. Looks like the 'Kaoru' you overheard Andou talking to is none other than Kaoru Niikura.”  
  
“ _Niikura?_ ” Zero exclaimed, surprise filling him. “So _this_ is what he's reduced himself to? Being an errand boy for nobility?”  
  
“Now Zero, I don't want you going in all cocky. You know what Niikura's like. I highly doubt he's let himself lose his skills. I wouldn't trust him an inch.”  
  
“This is going to make things difficult. If he sees me there ... fuck! Remind me to beat the shit out of Hara for failing to mention this.”  
  
“He can't have been expected to list _everyone_ Andou knows.”  
  
“Yes, he could have, because I specifically asked him to do just that.”  
  
“Yeah, I know. Sometimes it's fun playing devil's advocate though, you know?”  
  
“I'm glad you're finding this all highly amusing, Karyu. Now what are we going to do about it?”  
  
There was a sigh on the other end of the phone as Karyu thought.  
  
“I'll keep tabs on him as much as possible. I'll try and get those other loose ends tied up. And I'll have a chat to Hara, find out exactly what he knows about Andou and Niikura's relationship. Just sit tight, and stay clear of everyone. If I find out Niikura is going to be anywhere near where you are, I'll give you a heads up. _Keep your phone on at all times._ ”  
  
“Like you need to tell me that,” Zero muttered, flicking the phone closed. He pulled out his cigarettes, lighting one and taking a long drag. He held it in for a few seconds, letting it out in a slow stream before starting the car. This had just gotten a lot more interesting.  
  
 _Looks like a visit to Toshimasa Hara is in order..._ he thought as he drove off.

***

  
  
“Where's your new guy?”  
  
“What?” Die spun around in alarm, watching Kaoru as he strode into the room.  
  
“Your new guy. Where is he?”  
  
“He's gone for the day.”  
  
“Fuck.”  
  
“Were we right?”  
  
“Yeah, we were. That fucking Toshiya has no idea what he's doing. He's a god damned idiot, and I _really_ don't know why the hell you keep him around.”  
  
“He's not as bad as you all insist he is. And anyway, it's better to know what he's up to, don't you think?”  
  
Kaoru snorted.  
  
“Where's Shinya?”  
  
“He's in his room. Why?”  
  
“I think for now it would be better to get him out of here. I've already sent Kyo to get Hizumi and Tsukasa.”  
  
“Do you know the guy that Toshiya has hired?”  
  
“I don't know the name, but it's probably fake. The description sounds familiar, but I can't quite figure out where I might know him from. I'd have to see him to get that.”  
  
“Do you really think Shinya is in danger?”  
  
“I don't know. To be honest, I don't think Toshiya ever intended things to go this far. I'd be surprised if this guy he hired has even told him what he did.” Kaoru sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Die, Toshiya might be an idiot, and he might be a bastard, but he's not a murderer. Whoever he's got working for him is obviously unhinged. We don't know _what_ he might do. So for now we'll assume yes, Shinya _is_ in danger. And we'll assume you are, too. I want to get you both out of here.”  
  
“He kissed me.”  
  
“What?!”  
  
“Shinya kissed me. Just now.”  
  
“Did he kiss you like a man, or like a whore?”  
  
Die's face grew stony, and Kaoru held up his hands.  
  
“I'm sorry, Die. But it's important I know if I'm to do anything about protecting him. And you.”  
  
Die lifted his hand to his lips, fingers brushing over them.  
  
“Like a man.”  
  
“So why are you here?”  
  
“He asked how I know him. I was getting a photo.”  
  
“Well, the trip down memory lane is going to have to wait. We're going now.”  
  
Kaoru turned and walked across the hall, opening the door to Shinya's room.  
  
“Shinya?”  
  
“Who are you?” the man sitting on the bed asked, his head tilted in question.  
  
“My name is Kaoru. I'm going to have to ask you to get up and grab a few changes of clothing. You and Die have to leave here for a while.”  
  
“Kaoru ... I know you. I remember you. You came to my house when I was younger, before...” Shinya's eyes opened in wonder while Kaoru stood in shock. “You were always mean to me, but I thought you were my big brother.”  
  
“So he remembers something, at least.”  
  
Kaoru turned, looking at Die as he stood behind him. The grief and hurt on Die's face was unmistakable.  
  
“Die...” Kaoru began, trailing off as Die gave a weak smile.  
  
“You said we need to get out of here. We should probably get going as soon as possible.”

 


	12. Chapter 12

Tsukasa wandered his way through the hospital, not really noticing where he was going. He had no idea why he had run from Hizumi, was disgusted with himself for doing it, but the fact was when Hizumi had told him he loved him he had gotten so _scared_ , and now he couldn't bring himself to go back. If he was being honest with himself, he _knew_ Hizumi had feelings for him. Just as he knew he saw Hizumi as more than just a friend.  
  
 _So why can't I just go back to him?_  
  
He continued walking aimlessly, not knowing what to do, until he found himself at the end of the corridor he had come from. He stared down towards Hizumi's door, willing himself to take just one step forwards, because even one step would be a start he could build from, but before he could manage even that much he saw a man emerge from Hizumi's room. Tsukasa froze, wondering who he could be - he had certainly never seen him before, and he'd seen _everyone_ Hizumi knew. The man headed towards Tsukasa and he quickly turned, for some reason not wanting this stranger to see his face. He peered intently at the map on the wall, letting his hair hang in front of his face as the other walked past him. He watched out of the corner of his eyes as the man entered the lift, a hand lifting to run through his shoulder length black hair. Their eyes met as the doors slid closed, and the dark emptiness that came from them chilled Tsukasa to the bone. The man smirked, then was gone. Tsukasa spun around and ran straight to check on Hizumi. He reached the door, his heart pounding, and with a deep breath pushed it open.  
  
“Hizu-” He stopped abruptly, his eyes surveying the room. The sheets of the bed were pulled right back, dangling down to the floor. Drawers had been pulled open and left that way, the chairs shoved back, one tipped onto its side. Of Hizumi there was no sign. Fear filled him and he turned again, racing towards the stairs, pounding down them two at a time, jumping the last few to the landing before starting on the next flight, racing as fast as he could until he came bursting out of the doors at ground level, just in time to see the lift doors slide back open and the man walk out. Tsukasa ran across and grabbed him, slamming the now surprised looking man into the wall, not caring who was looking.  
  
“What'd you do to him?” he hissed, his hands grabbing fistfuls of the man's clothing.  
  
“I have no idea what you're talking about,” the man answered smoothly.  
  
“Don't lie to me. I know you did something to Hizumi. _Now tell me where he is._ ”  
  
Tsukasa felt hands pulling him away, but he refused to let go of the stranger until he told him what had happened to Hizumi. More hands appeared, and eventually he was forced away, his eyes wild as he stared at the stranger.  
  
“Again, I have no idea what you're talking about,” the man said, straightening his clothes. He turned and walked towards the door, Tsukasa watching him even as voices yelled out to call the police. He was so fixated on him that he hadn't even noticed the other stranger walking in to see the end of their altercation, staring in wary surprise. The second stranger's voice shook him out of his trance.  
  
“Nobuya? What are you doing here?”  
  
“I had heard that one of Andou-sama's acquaintances had been injured. I came to check the room number so I could organise gifts to be sent.”  
  
Tsukasa could practically _smell_ the lie floating off him, and judging by the reaction of the blond man in front of this _Nobuya_ , he could too.  
  
“Right. Well, get back to work then. There's plenty still needs to be done.”  
  
Nobuya nodded and continued out the door, not looking back once. The blond man stood for a moment, staring at the people surrounding Tsukasa, before reaching a decision.  
  
“You don't need to call the police,” he said to the person with the phone in their hand. “And you can let him go. He's coming with me.”  
  
“But Kyo-san...”  
  
“Look, for the last time, no buts! This is coming from Die, not me. So you need. to. _l_ _isten,_ ” he finished through gritted teeth. He turned back to Tsukasa, his expression softening somewhat. “You'd be Tsukasa, then?”  
  
Tsukasa nodded, not sure what the hell was going on or what he should say.  
  
“That man, Nobuya. Why were you attacking him?”  
  
“He was in Hizumi's room. I went in and Hizumi was gone. Everything looked torn apart.”  
  
“I know where he is, and you don't need to worry. Come on. I'm taking you both out of here.”  
  
“Where?”  
  
“Doesn't matter. Just come with me. And before you start the twenty questions thing, I work for Die, I'm doing this to protect your asses because if anything happened to you then it would mean a very upset Shinya, which would mean a very upset Die, which would just be generally unpleasant for everyone else. Oh, and you can call me Kyo.”  
  
“Kyo?”  
  
“Yeah, that's what I said. Now get moving!”

***

  
  
Kaoru helped the others get clothes together, all manner of items thrown haphazardly into a bag. Maybe they were just being paranoid, but Kaoru had been in this line of work too long to remain complacent. Still ... he couldn't help but feel that maybe he should be leaving Die and Shinya alone. He could feel Shinya's eyes on him with every move he made, and he knew what it must be doing to Die. He had no idea why Shinya should remember him when he had forgotten about everyone else. It made no sense, especially since it had been Die who had spent the most time with Shinya, not Kaoru.  
  
 _Still ... it's a start, at least._  
  
The silence was strained, though Kaoru got the impression that Shinya was completely oblivious to it. He was about to come up with some excuse to leave the two of them alone for a while when he was saved by a rather breathless blond running into the room.  
  
“Looks like we were definitely right. I've got Hizumi and Tsukasa sitting in the car down stairs, but I don't want to leave them there alone for too long. You guys nearly ready?”  
  
Kaoru straightened from picking things up off the floor, sudden determination flooding through him.  
  
“Yeah, ready enough. You take these two. I'm going to stay here and wait for what happens. Have you called Toshiya?”  
  
“No, not yet. Gonna do that on the way. I might pay him a visit soon, though.”  
  
“Kyo ... you be careful if you do, okay?”  
  
“Pfft,” was Kyo's eloquent response. “You know I will be. And honestly, what could _Toshiya_ of all people do? You're the one I'm more worried about. I take it when you say you'll 'see what happens', you actually mean you're going to cause some trouble?”  
  
“Do you think maybe you should tell _me_ what's going on?” Die interrupted, a worried look on his face as he watched Shinya watching Kaoru. Kaoru sighed, then decided to give Die what he wanted.  
  
 _Well, part of it, anyway._  
  
“Kyo will be taking you two with Hizumi and Tsukasa. I'm going to stay here.”  
  
“Stay here and do what?”  
  
“Just keep an eye on things. Look, we're done now. Kyo, look after them, okay?”  
  
Kyo nodded, much to Die's obvious annoyance. By this stage though, Kaoru really didn't care. He had a job to do, and he was going to do it.

***

  
  
Hizumi sat awkwardly in the car, not sure whether he should be looking at Tsukasa. It had come as somewhat of a shock when Kyo had suddenly run from the car, only to reappear with Tsukasa, but the relief Hizumi had felt was almost overwhelming. Now though, he wasn't sure what to think. Tsukasa was doing his best to cram himself into the very corner of the vehicle, and every part of Hizumi cried out to touch him, to hold him, although Tsukasa had made it very clear that that wasn't what he wanted. He could feel tears of hurt and frustration prickling, and he blinked furiously, refusing to let anyone see how much it was affecting him. He turned his head so he could look out the window, so he didn't have to see how much Tsukasa was trying to avoid him. There wasn't a lot to see though. Kyo had left the car in the garage, everything locked and alarmed. It seemed he wasn't taking any chances, not even at his own house.  
  
“I'm sorry.”  
  
Hizumi jumped a little, his hand automatically clutching at his stomach as the sudden movement cause pain to ripple through him. He turned, hoping Tsukasa hadn't noticed. It seemed luck was on his side, for Tsukasa was still staring intently through the other window at his side of the garage.  
  
“Sorry?” Hizumi whispered, not sure he wanted to hear exactly _why_ Tsukasa was apologising.  
  
“For running out on you. For just leaving you there. After all you've done for me...” he trailed off, and Hizumi sat wondering where exactly Tsukasa was going with this.  
  
“I shouldn't have said what I said. It wasn't fair of me to put that on you. I'm the one who should be sorry.”  
  
“No, you shouldn't. You should never be sorry for things like that. I just reacted badly. I wasn't expecting it. I wasn't expecting that anyone would ever tell me anything like that. I suppose part of me knew that maybe you felt that way, but I never believed it. I still don't, because I just don't understand why someone like you would love someone like me.”  
  
“Why wouldn't I love you? I've never met anyone like you, Tsukasa. I never will again. You're as perfect as it's possible to be. I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable, but it's the truth. I love you, but you don't have to return my feelings.”  
  
“That's just it. I _do_. And I don't know why I'm so scared about it.”  
  
Hizumi sat, dumbfounded by Tsukasa's matter-of-fact confession. He was frozen, knew he must look like an idiot sitting there with his mouth dropped open, holding his stomach, but he didn't care. Tsukasa hadn't said it in _exactly_ those words, but he loved him.  
  
 _He loves me._  
  
He sat in silence a few moments longer until he noticed Tsukasa was frozen in much the same way he was. It seemed as though the other man was even holding his breath, waiting for Hizumi to speak.  
  
“You -” he choked a little on his voice. He was growing light-headed again, though whether from his injury or the emotional roller coaster he was on, he didn't know. “You feel the same?” he managed, still scarcely believing his own ears. Tsukasa nodded, and it felt to Hizumi as though the bottom had fallen out of the car, his head spinning more as he shuffled himself closer.  
  
“Tsukasa? Look at me.” He lifted his hand, his fingers resting under Tsukasa's chin so he could gently turn his head, ducking his own so he could look into Tsukasa's down-cast eyes.  
  
“I love you,” he said, closing his eyes and pressing his lips against the other man's. He felt Tsukasa stiffen, then relax as Hizumi kissed him, eventually kissing him back. He dropped his hand to Tsukasa's shoulder, parting his lips slightly to allow access. The kiss deepened, and all thought left Hizumi's mind because this was _Tsukasa_ , and that meant that nothing else mattered. Tsukasa's arms lifted to wrap around Hizumi, and they just clung to each other until Hizumi had to pull away, the pressure on his injured stomach growing just a little too great.  
  
“Sorry ... I'm still a bit sore. Or a lot sore,” he apologised, laughing a little. Tsukasa laughed as well, a hiccoughing type of laugh, and Hizumi rested his head on Tsukasa's shoulder.  
  
“So does this mean you aren't going to run from me again?”  
  
Tsukasa nodded, his arm snaking around Hizumi's shoulder, pulling him closer. They rested like that a little longer, enjoying the silence and each others proximity, until the garage door opened and three figures entered. The three climbed into the car, Shinya in the back, Die and Kyo in the front. Shinya squeezed in next to Hizumi, the couple taking the opportunity to sit even closer together.  
  
“I saw that, you know,” Shinya whispered, grinning, and Hizumi blushed but couldn't keep his own smile off his face.  
  
“Right. Time to get the hell out of here,” Kyo said, starting the car.

***

  
  
Kaoru stood at the window, watching the car as it left the grounds. Only when he was sure they were safely gone did he move, beginning his hunt. He left the bedroom he was in, searching every room he came entered, locking them all behind him as he was done. He worked his way through the entire house, ending at the kitchen, and was surprised to see his quarry sitting there, calm as anything, at the kitchen table.  
  
“I might have known it would be you,” he said quietly, leaning against the door frame, arms crossed.  
  
“Wondered when you'd show up, too, Kaoru.”  
  
“You've gotten even more unhinged than you were when we worked together.”  
  
“I'm not unhinged, Kaoru. You've just gotten soft.”  
  
“We would never have involved innocent people in the old days.”  
  
“Well, just goes to show that you were too soft then, too.”  
  
“Zero, it's time to stop.”  
  
“But why? We've been having so much fun. Karyu should be turning up any second now. Won't that be a happy reunion? Oh! Speak of the devil.”  
  
Kaoru's eyes flicked to the back door just in time to see it creak open, and the blond head of Karyu peering through the crack.  
  
“Kaoru! So good to see you. Unfortunately, I'm sorry to say, it's already time to say goodbye.”  
  
Kaoru watched as the two men advanced, wondering just how the hell he was going to get out of this one.

 


End file.
